Comedy plays; Exiles -- Drama; Fathers and daughters -- Drama; Pastoral drama
Ros. I haue bin told so of many: but indeed, an olde
religious Vnckle of mine taught me to speake, who was
in his youth an inland man, one that knew Courtship too
well: for there he fel in loue. I haue heard him read many
Lectors against it, and I thanke God, I am not a Woman
to be touch'd with so many giddie offences as hee
hath generally tax'd their whole sex withal
Orl. Can you remember any of the principall euils,
that he laid to the charge of women?
Ros. There were none principal, they were all like
one another, as halfepence are, euerie one fault seeming
monstrous, til his fellow-fault came to match it
Orl. I prethee recount some of them
Ros. No: I wil not cast away my physick, but on those
that are sicke. There is a man haunts the Forrest, that abuses
our yong plants with caruing Rosalinde on their
barkes; hangs Oades vpon Hauthornes, and Elegies on
brambles; all (forsooth) defying the name of Rosalinde.
If I could meet that Fancie-monger, I would giue him
some good counsel, for he seemes to haue the Quotidian
of Loue vpon him
Orl. I am he that is so Loue-shak'd, I pray you tel
me your remedie
Ros. There is none of my Vnckles markes vpon you:
he taught me how to know a man in loue: in which cage
of rushes, I am sure you art not prisoner
Orl. What were his markes?
Ros. A leane cheeke, which you haue not: a blew eie
and sunken, which you haue not: an vnquestionable spirit,
which you haue not: a beard neglected, which you
haue not: (but I pardon you for that, for simply your hauing
in beard, is a yonger brothers reuennew) then your
hose should be vngarter'd, your bonnet vnbanded, your
sleeue vnbutton'd, your shoo vnti'de, and euerie thing
about you, demonstrating a carelesse desolation: but you
are no such man; you are rather point deuice in your
accoustrements,
as louing your selfe, then seeming the Louer
of any other
Orl. Faire youth, I would I could make thee beleeue I Loue
Ros. Me beleeue it? You may assoone make her that
you Loue beleeue it, which I warrant she is apter to do,
then to confesse she do's: that is one of the points, in the
which women stil giue the lie to their consciences. But
in good sooth, are you he that hangs the verses on the
Trees, wherein Rosalind is so admired?
Orl. I sweare to thee youth, by the white hand of
Rosalind, I am that he, that vnfortunate he
Ros. But are you so much in loue, as your rimes speak?
Orl. Neither rime nor reason can expresse how much
Ros. Loue is meerely a madnesse, and I tel you, deserues
as wel a darke house, and a whip, as madmen do:
and the reason why they are not so punish'd and cured, is
that the Lunacie is so ordinarie, that the whippers are in
loue too: yet I professe curing it by counsel
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