Comedy plays; Exiles -- Drama; Fathers and daughters -- Drama; Pastoral drama
plants with carving 'Rosalind' on their barks; hangs odes
upon
hawthorns and elegies on brambles; all, forsooth, deifying
the
name of Rosalind. If I could meet that fancy-monger, I would
give
him some good counsel, for he seems to have the quotidian of
love
upon him.
ORLANDO. I am he that is so love-shak'd; I pray you tell me
your
remedy.
ROSALIND. There is none of my uncle's marks upon you; he taught
me
how to know a man in love; in which cage of rushes I am sure
you
are not prisoner.
ORLANDO. What were his marks?
ROSALIND. A lean cheek, which you have not; a blue eye and
sunken,
which you have not; an unquestionable spirit, which you have
not;
a beard neglected, which you have not; but I pardon you for
that,
for simply your having in beard is a younger brother's
revenue.
Then your hose should be ungarter'd, your bonnet unbanded,
your
sleeve unbutton'd, your shoe untied, and every thing about
you
demonstrating a careless desolation. But you are no such man;
you
are rather point-device in your accoutrements, as loving
yourself
than seeming the lover of any other.
ORLANDO. Fair youth, I would I could make thee believe I love.
ROSALIND. Me believe it! You may as soon make her that you love
believe it; which, I warrant, she is apter to do than to
confess
she does. That is one of the points in the which women still
give
the lie to their consciences. But, in good sooth, are you he
that
hangs the verses on the trees wherein Rosalind is so admired?
ORLANDO. I swear to thee, youth, by the white hand of Rosalind,
I
am that he, that unfortunate he.
ROSALIND. But are you so much in love as your rhymes speak?
ORLANDO. Neither rhyme nor reason can express how much.
ROSALIND. Love is merely a madness; and, I tell you, deserves
as
well a dark house and a whip as madmen do; and the reason why
they are not so punish'd and cured is that the lunacy is so
ordinary that the whippers are in love too. Yet I profess
curing
it by counsel.
ORLANDO. Did you ever cure any so?
ROSALIND. Yes, one; and in this manner. He was to imagine me
his
love, his mistress; and I set him every day to woo me; at
which
time would I, being but a moonish youth, grieve, be
effeminate,
changeable, longing and liking, proud, fantastical, apish,
shallow, inconstant, full of tears, full of smiles; for every
passion something and for no passion truly anything, as boys
and
women are for the most part cattle of this colour; would now
like
him, now loathe him; then entertain him, then forswear him;
now
weep for him, then spit at him; that I drave my suitor from
his
mad humour of love to a living humour of madness; which was,
to
forswear the full stream of the world and to live in a nook
merely monastic. And thus I cur'd him; and this way will I
take
upon me to wash your liver as clean as a sound sheep's heart,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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