Parent and child -- Fiction; Sardinia (Italy) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Unmarried mothers -- Fiction
"She has no soul!" thought the poor boy. "When I raved, when I rose to
the stars and swelled with superhuman joy, she was silent because in her
there was emptiness. And I was adoring her silence, and thinking it
divine! She spoke only when her senses were awaked. She speaks now
because she's menaced with the vulgar annoyance of being given up. She
has no soul, no heart! Not one word of pity! Not the modesty to conceal
her selfishness. And she's ignorant too. Her letter is copied and
recopied, yet even so it's badly expressed. But the last lines--there's
her art! She knew the effect they'd produce. She knows me perfectly, and
I am only now beginning to understand her. She wants to allure me to the
meeting, because she thinks she can intoxicate me. Deceit! deceit! But I
see through her now. Ah! not one kind word, not a single generous
impulse, nothing! nothing! How horrible!"--(again, he crumpled the
letter)--"I hate all women! I shall always hate them! I'll become bad
myself! I'll grind you all to powder and spit upon you. I'll make you
all suffer! I'll kill you, tear you to pieces! I'll begin this instant!"
He took the _rezetta_ still wrapped in the coloured handkerchief, rolled
it in a newspaper, sealed and despatched it to Aunt Grathia. "It's all
over," he repeated. And he seemed to be walking through emptiness, over
the cold clouds as on the ascent of Gennargentu. But now vainly he
looked down or around him; there was no path of escape, all was cloud,
infinite giddiness. During the day he thought of suicide, a hundred
times.
He went up and took information as to what examinations and public posts
were open to him, and how soon he could present himself as a candidate.
He went to the tavern and seeing the handsome Agata (now betrothed to
Antonino) he kissed her. Whirlwinds of hate and of love for Margherita
shook his soul. The more he read her letter, the more he felt her
paltriness; the more he felt himself alienated from her, the more he
loved and desired her. Kissing Agata, he remembered what excitement the
beautiful peasant's kiss had roused in him on that former occasion. Then
Margherita had been so far above him, a whole world of mystery and
poetry had divided them; and this same world, fallen to ruins, divided
them now.
"What's up with you?" asked Agata, making no objection to his kiss.
"Have you quarrelled with? What are you kissing me for?"
"Because I like it, because you're coarse----"
"You've been drinking!" laughed Agata. "Well if that's your fancy in
women, you can have Rebecca. But suppose Margherita hears of it----"
"Hold your tongue! Don't dare to mention her name!"
"Why not? She's going to be my sister-in-law. Is she any different from
me? She's a woman like the rest of us. I doubt she's even rich. If she
was certain she'd be rich, she'd only keep you on till she found a
better match."
"If you don't hold your tongue I'll strike you!" said Anania furiously.
"Oh, you're drunk! Get away! go to Rebecca!" repeated Agata.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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