"Ask Mamma"; or, The Richest Commoner In EnglandSurtees, Robert Smith
General
"Ask Mamma"; or, The Richest Commoner In England
Surtees, Robert Smith
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Fox hunting -- Fiction
him—the white legged brown,—is of the antediluvian order too. He
is now called Woodpecker, but he may be traced by half-a-dozen
aliases through other stables—Buckhunter, Captain Tart,
Fleacatcher, Sportsman, Marc Anthony, &c. He is nearly, if not
quite thorough bred, and the ignoble purposes to which he has
been subjected, false start making, steeple chasing, flat and
hurdle racing, accounts for the number of his names. The Major
got him from Captain Caret, of the Apple-pie huzzars, when that
gallant regiment was ordered out to India,—taking him all away
together, saddle, bridle, clothing, &c., for twenty-three pounds,
a strong iron-bound chest, fit for sea purposes, as the Major
described it, and a spying glass. This horse, like all the rest
of them, indeed, is variously priced, depending upon the party
asking, sometimes fifty, sometimes five-and-twenty would buy him.
The third is a mare, a black mare, called Star, late the property
of Mr. Hazey, the horse-dealing master of the Squeezington
hounds. Hazey sold her in his usual course of horse-dealing
cheating to young Mr. Sprigginson, of Marygold Lodge, for a
hundred and twenty guineas (the shillings back), Hazey’s
discrimination enabling him to see that she was turning weaver,
and Sprigginson not liking her, returned her on the warranty;
when, of course, Hazey refusing to receive her, she was sent to
the Eclipse Livery and Bait Stables at Hinton, where, after
weaving her head off, she was sold at the hammer to the Major for
twenty-nine pounds. Sprig then brought an action against Hazey
for the balance, bringing half-a-dozen witnesses to prove that
she wove when she came; Hazey, of course, bringing a dozen to
swear that she never did nothin’ ‘o the sort with him, and must
have learnt it on the road; and the jury being perplexed, and one
of them having a cow to calve, another wanting to see his
sweetheart, and the rest wanting their dinners, they just tossed
up for it, “Heads!” for Sprig; “Tails!” for Hazey, and Sprig won.
There she goes, you see, weaving backwards and forwards like a
caged panther in a den. Still she is far from being the worst
that the Major has; indeed, we are not sure that she is not about
the best, only, as Solomon says, with reference to her weaving,
she gets the “langer the warser.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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