"Ask Mamma"; or, The Richest Commoner In EnglandSurtees, Robert Smith
General
"Ask Mamma"; or, The Richest Commoner In England
Surtees, Robert Smith
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Fox hunting -- Fiction
IF a dinner-party in town, with all the aids and appliances of
sham-butlers, job-cooks, area-sneak-entrés, and extraneous
confectionary, causes confusion in an establishment, how much
more so must a party in the country, where, in addition to the
guests, their servants, their horses, and their carriages, are to
be accommodated. What a turning-out, and putting-up, and
make-shifting, is there! What a grumbling and growling at not
getting into the best stable, or at not having the state-vehicle
put into the coach-house. If Solomon had not combined the wisdom
of his namesake, with the patience of Job, he would have
succumbed to the pressure from without. As it was, he kept
persevering on until having got the last shandry-dan deposited
under the hay house, he had just time to slip up-stairs to “clean
himself,” and be ready to wait at dinner.
But what a commotion the party makes in the kitchen! Everybody is
in a state of stew, from the gallant Betty Bone down to the
hind’s little girl from Bonnyriggs Farm, whom they have “got in”
for the occasion.
Nor do their anxieties end with the dishing-up of the dinner; for
no sooner is it despatched, than that scarcely less onerous
entertainment, the supper for the servants, has to be provided.
Then comes the coffee, then the tea, then the tray, and then the
carriages wanted, then good night, good night, good night; most
agreeable evening; no idea it was so late; and getting away. But
the heat, and steam, and vapour of the kitchen overpowers us, and
we gladly seek refuge in the newly “done-up” drawing-room.
In it behold the Major!—the Major in all the glory of the
Yammerton harrier uniform, a myrtle-green coat, with a gold
embroidered hare on the myrtle-green velvet collar, and puss with
her ears well back, striding away over a dead gold surface, with
a raised burnished rim of a button, a nicely-washed,
stiffly-starched, white vest, with a yellow silk one underneath,
black shorts, black silk stockings, and patent leather pumps. He
has told off his very rare and singularly fine port wine, his
prime old Madeira, matured in the West Indies; his nutty sherry,
and excellently flavoured claret, all recently bought at the
auction mart, not forgetting the ginger-pop-like
champagne,—allowing the liberal measure of a pint for each person
of the latter, and he is now trying to cool himself down into the
easy-minded, unconcerned, every-day-dinner-giving host.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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