"Ask Mamma"; or, The Richest Commoner In EnglandSurtees, Robert Smith
General
"Ask Mamma"; or, The Richest Commoner In England
Surtees, Robert Smith
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Fox hunting -- Fiction
This sent the Billy funds up a little. He forgot his intention of
following her into the country, and began to expatiate upon the
luxuries of London, the capital fish they got, the cod and
hoyster sauce (for when excited, he knocked his h’s about a
little), the cod and hoyster sauce, the turbot, the mackerel, the
mullet, that woodcock of the sea, as he exultingly called it,
thinking what a tuck-out he would have in revenge for his country
inn abstinence. He then got upon the splendour of his own house
in Doughty Street—the most agreeable in London. Its spacious
entrance, its elegant stone staircase; his beautiful
drawing-room, with its maroon and rose-coloured brocaded satin
damask curtains, and rich Tournay carpet, its beautiful
chandelier of eighteen lights, and Piccolo pianoforte, and was
describing a most magnificent mirror—we don’t know what size, but
most beautiful and becoming—when the pace of the vehicle was
sensibly felt to relax; and before they had time to speculate on
the cause, it had come to a stand-still.
“Stopped,” observed Billy, lowering the window to look out for
squalls.
No sooner was the window down, than a head at the door proclaimed
mischief. The _tête-à-tête_ was at an end. The guard was going to
put Pheasant-feather bonnet inside. Open sesame _—W-h-i-s-h_. In
came the cutting wind—oh dear what a day!
“Rum for a leddy?” asked the guard, raising a great half-frozen,
grog-blossomy face out of the blue and white coil of a
shawl-cravat in which it was enveloped,—“Git in” continued he,
shouldering the leddy up the steps, without waiting for an
answer, and in popped Pheasant-feathers; when, slamming-to the
door, he cried “_right!_” to the coachman, and on went the
vehicle, leaving the enterer to settle into a seat by its
shaking, after the manner of the omnibus cads, who seem to think
all they have to do is to see people past the door. As it was,
the new-comer alighted upon Billy, who cannoned her off against
the opposite door, and then made himself as big as he could, the
better to incommode her. Pheasant-feathers, however, having
effected an entrance, seemed to regard herself as good as her
neighbours, and forthwith proceeded to adjust the window to her
liking, despite the eyeing and staring of Miss Willing. Billy was
indignant at the nasty peppermint-drop-smelling woman intruding
between the wind and his beauty, and inwardly resolved he would
dock the guard’s fee for his presumption in putting her there.
Miss Willing gathered herself together as if afraid of
contamination; and, forgetting her _role_, declared, after a jolt
received in one of her seat-shiftings, that it was just the
“smallest coach she had ever been in.” She then began to
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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