"Ask Mamma"; or, The Richest Commoner In EnglandSurtees, Robert Smith
General
"Ask Mamma"; or, The Richest Commoner In England
Surtees, Robert Smith
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Fox hunting -- Fiction
YOUR oss sall be seek—down in de mouth dis mornin’, sare,”
observed Monsieur to Billy, as the latter lay tossing about in
his uncomfortable bed, thinking how he could shirk that day’s
hunting penance; Sir Moses, with his usual dexterity, having
evaded the offer of lending him a horse, by saying that Billy’s
having nothing to do the day before would be quite fresh for the
morrow.
“Shall be w-h-a-w-t?” drawled our hero, dreading the reply.
“Down in de mouth—seek—onvell,” replied Jack, depositing the
top-boots by the sofa, and placing the shaving-water on the
toilette table.
“Oh, is he!” said Billy, perking up, thinking he saw his way out
of the dilemma. “What’s the matter with him?”
“He coughs, sare—he does not feed, sare—and altogether he is not
right.”
“So-o-o,” said Billy, conning the matter over—“then, p’raps I’d
better not ride him?”
“Vot you think right, sare,” replied Jack. “He is your quadruped,
not mine; but I should not say he is vot dey call, op to
snoff—fit to go.”
“Ah,” replied Billy. “I’ll not ride ‘im! hate a horse that’s not
up to the mark.”
“Sare Moses Baronet vod perhaps lend you von, sare,” suggested
Jack.
“Oh, by no means!” replied Billy in a fright. “By no means! I’d
just as soon not hunt to-day, in fact, for I’ve got a good many
letters to write and things to do; so just take the water away
for the present and bring it back when Sir Moses is gone.” So
saying, Billy turned over on his thin pillow, and again sought
the solace of his couch. He presently fell into a delightful
dreamy sort of sleep, in which he fancied that after dancing the
Yammerton girls all round, he had at length settled into an
interminable “Ask Mamma Polka,” with Clara, from which he was
disagreeably aroused by Jack Rogers’ hirsute face again
protruding between the partially-drawn curtains, announcing,
“Sare Moses Baronet, sare, has cot his stick—is off.”
“Sir Moses, _what!_” started Billy, dreading to hear about the
hunt.
“Sare Moses Baronet, sare, is gone, and I’ve brought you your
_l’eau chaude_, as you said.”
“All right!” exclaimed Billy, rubbing his eyes and recollecting
himself, “all right;” and, banishing the beauty, he jumped out of
bed and resigned himself to Rogers, who forthwith commenced the
elaborate duties of his office. As it progressed he informed
Billy how the land lay. “Sare Moses was gone, bot Coddy was left,
and Mrs. Margerum said there should be no _déjeuner_ for Cod”
(who was a bad tip), till Billy came down. And Jack didn’t put
himself at all out of his way to expedite matters to accommodate
Cuddy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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