"Ask Mamma"; or, The Richest Commoner In EnglandSurtees, Robert Smith
General
"Ask Mamma"; or, The Richest Commoner In England
Surtees, Robert Smith
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Fox hunting -- Fiction
At length Billy descended in a suit of those tigerish tweeds into
which he had lapsed since he got away from Mamma, and was
received with a round of tallihos and view-holloas by Cuddy, who
had been studying _Bell’s Life_ with exemplary patience in the
little bookless library, reading through all the meets of the
hounds as if he was going to send a horse to each of them. Then
Cuddy took his revenge on the servants by ringing for everything
he could think of, demanding them all in the name of Mr. Pringle;
just as an old parish constable used to run frantically about a
fair demanding assistance from everybody in the name of the
Queen. Mr. Pringle wanted devilled turkey, Mr. Pringle wanted
partridge pie, Mr. Pringle wanted sausages, Mr. Pringle wanted
chocolate, Mr. Pringle wanted honey, jelly and preserve. Why the
deuce, didn’t they send Mr. Pringle his breakfast in properly?
And if the servants didn’t think Billy a very great man, it
wasn’t for want of Cuddy trying to make them.
And so, what with Cuddy’s exertions and the natural course of
events, Billy obtained a very good breakfast. The last cup being
at length drained, Cuddy clutched _Bell’s Life_, and wheeling his
semicircular chair round to the fire, dived into his side pocket,
and, producing a cigar-case, tendered Billy a weed. And Cuddy did
it in such a matter-of-course way, that much as Billy disliked
smoking, he felt constrained to accept one, thinking to get rid
of it by a sidewind, just as he had got rid of old Wotherspoon’s
snuff, by throwing it away. So, taking his choice, he lit it, and
prepared to beat a retreat, but was interrupted by Cuddy asking
where “he was going?”
“Only into the open air,” replied Billy, with the manner of a
professed smoker.
“Open air, be hanged!” retorted Cuddy. “Open airs well enough in
summer-time when the roses are out, and the strawberries ripe,
but this is not the season for that kind of sport. No, no, come
and sit here, man,” continued he, drawing a chair alongside of
him for Billy, “and let’s have a chat about hunting.”
“But Sir Moses won’t like his room smoked in,” observed Billy,
making a last effort to be off.
“Oh, Sir Moses don’t care!” rejoined Cuddy, with a jerk of his
head; “Sir Moses don’t care! can’t hurt such rubbish as this,”
added he, tapping the arm of an old imitation rose-wood painted
chair that stood on his left. “No old furniture broker in the
Cut, would give ten puns for the whole lot, curtains, cushions,
and all,” looking at the faded red hangings around.
So Billy was obliged to sit down and proceed with his cigar.
Meanwhile Cuddy having established a good light to his own, took
up his left leg to nurse, and proceeded with his sporting
speculations.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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