"Ask Mamma"; or, The Richest Commoner In EnglandSurtees, Robert Smith
General
"Ask Mamma"; or, The Richest Commoner In England
Surtees, Robert Smith
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Fox hunting -- Fiction
Now upon his lordship’s vast estates was a most unmitigated
block-head called Imperial John, from his growing one of those
chin appendages. His real name was Hybrid—John Hybrid, of Barley
Hill Farm; but his handsome sister, “Imperial Jane,” as the wags
called her, having attracted his lordship’s attention, to the
danger as it was thought of old Binks, on leaving her furnishing
seminary at Turnham Green, John had been taken by the hand, which
caused him to lose his head, and make him set up for what he
called “a gent.” He built a lodge and a portico to Barley Hill
Farm, rough cast, and put a pine roof on to the house, and then
advertised in the “Featherbedfordshire Gazette,” that letters and
papers were for the future to be addressed to John Hybrid,
Esquire, Barley Hill Hall, and not Farm as they had hitherto
been. And having done so much for the place, John next revised
his own person, which, though not unsightly, was coarse, and a
long way off looking anything like that of a gentleman. He first
started the imperial aforesaid, and not being laughed at as much
as he expected for that, he was emboldened to order a red coat
for the then approaching season. Mounting the pink is a critical
thing, for if a man does not land in the front rank they will not
admit him again into the rear, and he remains a sort of red bat
for the rest of his life,—neither a gentleman nor a farmer.
John, however, feeling that he had his lordship’s countenance,
went boldly at it, and the first day of the season before that
with which we are dealing, found him with his stomach buttoned
consequentially up in a spic and span scarlet with fancy buttons,
looking as bumptious as a man with a large balance at his
banker’s. He sat bolt upright, holding his whip like a
field-marshal’s bâton, on his ill-groomed horse, with a
tight-bearing rein chucking the Imperial chin well in the air,
and a sort of half-defiant “you’d better not laugh at me” look.
And John was always proud to break a fence, or turn a hound, or
hold a horse, or do anything his lordship bid him, and became a
sort of hunting aide-de-camp to the great man. He was a boasting,
bragging fool, always talking about m-o-y hall, and m-o-y lodge,
and m-o-y plate in m-o-y drawing-room, for he had not discovered
that plate was the appendage of a dining-room, and altogether he
was very magnificent.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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