"Ask Mamma"; or, The Richest Commoner In EnglandSurtees, Robert Smith
General
"Ask Mamma"; or, The Richest Commoner In England
Surtees, Robert Smith
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Fox hunting -- Fiction
_“Look at a shooter,—what a ragamuffin dress his is, hardly
distinguishable from a keeper; and yachters and cricketers might
be taken for ticket-of-leave men. I should be very sorry indeed
if you were not to persevere in your hunting; for a red coat and
leathers are quite your become, and there is none, in my opinion,
in which a gentleman looks so well, or a snob so ill. Learning to
hunt can’t be more disagreeable than learning to sail or to
smoke, and see how many hundreds—thousands I may say—overcome the
difficulty every year, and blow their clouds, as they call them,
on the quarterdeck, as though they had been born sailors with
pipes in their mouths. Remember, if you can’t manage to sit your
horse, you’ll be fit for nothing but a seat in Parliament along
with Captain Catlap and the other incurables. I can’t think there
can be much difficulty in the matter, judging from the lumpy
wash-balley sort of men one hears talking about it. I should
think if you had a horse of your own, you would be able to make
better out. Whatever you do, however, have nothing to do with
racing. It’s only for rogues and people who have more money than
they know what to do with, and to whom it doesn’t matter whether
they win or they lose. We musn’t have you setting up a
confidential crossing-sweeper with a gold eyeglass. No gentleman
need expect to make money on the turf, for if you were to win
they wouldn’t pay you, whereas, if you lose it’s quite a
different thing. One of the beauties of hunting is that people
have no inducement to poison each other; whereas in racing, from
poisoning horses they have got to poisoning men, besides which
one party must lose if the other is to win. Mutual advantage is
impossible. Another thing, if you were to win ever so, the
trainer would always keep his little bill in advance of your
gains, or he would be a very bad trainer._
_“I hope Major Hammerton is a gentleman of station, whose
acquaintance will do you good, though the name is not very
aristocratic—Hamilton would have been better. Are there any Miss
H’s? Remember there are always forward people in the world, who
think to advance themselves by taking strangers by the hand, and
that a bad introduction is far worse than none. Above all, never
ask to be introduced to a great man. Great people have their eyes
and ears about them just as well as little ones, and if they
choose to know you, they will make the advance. Asking to be
introduced only prejudices them against you, and generally
insures a cut at the first opportunity._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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