Tonight, he wrote, read six more chapters of _War and Peace_. At four
in the morning have hot black coffee. At four-fifteen take cards from
pack and play ten games of solitaire. This should take until six-thirty
when--more coffee. At seven o'clock, listen to early morning programs
from Earth, if the receiving equipment on the radio works at all. Does
it?
He tried the radio receiver. It was dead.
Well, he wrote, from seven o'clock until eight, sing all the songs you
remember, make your own entertainment. From eight until nine think
about Helen King. Remember Helen. On second thought, think about Helen
right now.
[Illustration: _Helen King_]
He marked that out with his pencil.
The rest of the days were set down in minute detail.
He checked the medical kit. There were several packets of tablets that
would keep you awake. One tablet an hour every hour for six days. He
felt quite confident.
"Here's mud in your evil eye, Iorr, Tylle!"
He swallowed one of the stay-wake tablets with a scalding mouth of
black coffee.
* * * * *
Well, with one thing and another it was Tolstoy or Balzac, gin-rummy,
coffee, tablets, walking, more Tolstoy, more Balzac, more gin-rummy,
more solitaire. The first day passed, as did the second and the third.
On the fourth day he lay quietly in the shade of a rock, counting to a
thousand by fives, then by tens, to keep his mind occupied and awake.
His eyes were so tired he had to bathe them frequently in cool water.
He couldn't read, he was bothered with splitting headaches. He was so
exhausted he couldn't move. He was numb with medicine. He resembled
a waxen dummy, stuffed with things to preserve him in a state of
horrified wakefulness. His eyes were glass, his tongue a rusted pike,
his fingers felt as if they were gloved in needles and fur.
He followed the hand of his watch. One second less to wait, he thought.
Two seconds, three seconds, four, five, ten, thirty seconds. A whole
minute. Now an hour less time to wait. Oh, ship, hurry on thy appointed
round!
He began to laugh softly.
What would happen if he just gave up, drifted off into sleep? Sleep,
ah, sleep; perchance to dream. All the world a stage.... What if he
gave up the unequal struggle, lapsed down?
_Eeeeeeeeeee_, the high, shrill warning sound of battle metal.
He shivered. His tongue moved in his dry, burry mouth.
Iorr and Tylle would battle out their ancient battle.
Leonard Sale would become quite insane.
And whichever won the battle, would take this ruin of an insane man,
the shaking, laughing wild body, and wander it across the face of this
world for ten, twenty years, occupying it, striding in it, pompous,
holding court, making grand gestures, ordering heads severed, calling
on inward unseen dancing girls. Leonard Sale, what remained of him,
would be led off to some hidden cave, there to be infested with wars
and worms of wars for twenty insane years, occupied and prostituted by
old and outlandish thoughts.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account