Asphodel : $b a novelBraddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
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Asphodel : $b a novel
Braddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
English fiction -- 19th century
He went into the hotel to give his orders, while Lina walked slowly up
and down one of the terraced pathways, looking at the wild chaos of
glacier and rock before her, looking, yet seeing but little of that
chilly grandeur, caring but little for its origin or its history, with
sad eyes turned inward, vaguely contemplating a vague sorrow.
It was not a grief of yesterday’s date—it was a sorrow made up of
doubts and anxieties which had their beginning in Gerald Goring’s
letter telling her of his intended trip to Canada. From that hour to
this she had perceived a gradual change in him. His letters from the
Western world, kind and affectionate as they had been, were altogether
different from the letters he had written to her in former years. When
he came back the man himself seemed different. He was not less kind, or
less attentive, less eager to gratify and to anticipate her wishes. To
her, and in all his relations with her, he was faultless: but he was
changed. Something had gone out of him—life, spirit, soul, the flame
which makes the lamp glorious and beautiful; something was faded and
dead in him; leaving the man himself a gentlemanly piece of mechanism,
like one of those victims to anatomical experiment from whose living
body the brain, or some particular portion of the brain, has been
abstracted, and which mechanically performs and repeats the same
actions with a hideous soulless monotony. ‘Was it that he loved her
less? Was it that he had ceased to love her?’ she had asked herself,
recoiling with shuddering heart-sickness from the thought; as if she
had found herself suddenly on the verge of some horrible abyss, and
seen inevitable ruin and death below. No, she told herself, judging his
heart by her own. A love that had grown as theirs had grown, side by
side with the gradual growth of mind and body, a love interwoven with
every memory and every hope, was not of the kind to change unawares
to indifference. She was perfectly free from the taint of vanity;
but she knew that she was worthy of her lover’s love. She, who had
been her father’s idol, the object of respect and consideration from
all about her, was accustomed to the idea of being beloved. She had
been told too often of her beauty not to know that she was handsomer
than the majority of women. She knew that in mental power she was her
lover’s equal: by birth, by fortune, by every attribute and quality,
she was fitted to be his wife, to rule over his household, and to be a
purifying and elevating influence in his life. His mother had loved her
as warmly as it was possible for that languid nature to love anything.
Their two lives were interwoven by the tenderest associations of
the past as well as by the solemn engagement which bound them in the
present. No, it was not possible for Madoline, seeing all things from
the standpoint of her own calm and evenly-balanced mind, to imagine
infidelity in a lover so long and so closely bound to her. Those sudden
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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