Asphodel : $b a novelBraddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
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Asphodel : $b a novel
Braddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
English fiction -- 19th century
aberrations of the human mind which wreck so many lives, for which no
looker-on can account, and which make men and women a world’s wonder,
had never come within the range of her experience.
Rejecting the idea of inconstancy, Madoline was compelled to find some
other reason for the indefinable change which had slowly been revealed
to her since Gerald’s last home-coming. What could it be except the
languor of ill-health, or, perhaps, the terrible satiety of a life
which had so few duties, and so many indulgences, a life that called
for no effort of mind, for not one act of self-denial?
‘Every man ought to have a career,’ she said to herself. ‘My poor
Gerald has none; no ambition; nothing to hope for, or work for,
or build upon. The new days of his life bring him nothing but old
pleasures. He is getting weary and worn out in the very morning of
existence. What will he be when the day begins to wane?’
She had been thinking of these things for a long time, and had
determined upon opening her mind to her lover, seriously, candidly,
without reserve, with all the outspoken freedom of one who deemed
herself a part of his life, his second self.
Here, in the face of these solemn heights, which seem ever typical of
the loftier aims of life—all the more so, perhaps, because of that air
of unattainableness which pervades them—she felt as if they were more
alone, farther from all the sordid considerations of worldly wisdom
than in the valley below. She could speak to him here from her heart of
hearts.
He was walking by her side along one of the narrow paths, just where a
rustic fence separated the grounds of the hotel from the steep mountain
side—walking somewhat listlessly, lost in a dreamy silence—when she put
her arm gently through his and drew a little nearer to him.
‘Gerald dearest, I want to talk to you—seriously.’
He turned suddenly, and looked at her, with more of alarm in his
countenance than she had anticipated.
‘Don’t be frightened,’ she said with a sweet smile. ‘I am not going to
be severe. I am only anxious.’
‘Anxious about what?’
‘About you, dear love; about your health, mental and physical. You
remember what you told me before you went to Canada.’
‘Yes.’
‘Your trip did you good, did it not?’
‘Worlds of good. I came home a whole man.’
‘But since you came home the old feeling of languor has returned, has
it not? You take so little interest in life; you look at everything
with such a weary indifferent air.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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