E-text prepared by Al Haines AT HOME WITH THE JARDINES by LILIAN BELL Author of "Abroad with the Jimmies," "Hope Loring,", etc. A. Wessels Company New York 1906 Copyright, 1902 by Harper & Brothers Copyright, 1903 by the Ridgway-Thayer Company Copyright, 1904 by Ainslee Magazine Co. Copyright, 1904 by L. C. Page & Company (Incorporated) (All rights reserved) TO Dr. John Sedgwick Billings, Jr. AND Dr. John Clarendon Todd WHOSE COURAGE, SKILL, AND WISDOM SAVED A PRECIOUS LIFE Contents Chapter I. MARY II. THEORIES III. ON THE SUBJECT OF JANITORS IV. THE ANGEL AND THE AGENT V. HOW WE TAMED THE COOK VI. THE BEST MAN'S STORY VII. THE PRICE OF QUIET VIII. MOVING IX. HOW BEE TRIED TO MAKE US SMART X. OUR FIRST HOUSE-PARTY XI. ON THE GENTLE ART OF WASTING OTHER PEOPLE'S TIME XII. A LETTER FROM JIMMIE XIII. THE BREAKING UP OF MARY XIV. AND THEY LIVED HAPPY EVER AFTER At Home with the Jardines CHAPTER I MARY I have never dared even inquire why our best man began calling my husband the Angel. He was with us a great deal during the first months of our marriage, and he is very observing, so I decided to let sleeping dogs lie. I, too, am observing. It is only fair to state, in justice to the best man, that I am a woman of emotional mountain peaks and dark, deep valleys, while the Angel is one vast and sunny plateau. With him rain comes in soothing showers, while rain in my disposition means a soaking, drenching torrent which sweeps away cattle and cottages and leaves roaring rivers in its wake. But it took Mary to discover that the smiling plateau was bedded on solid rock, and had its root in infinity. Mary is my cook! Yet Mary is more than cook. She is my housekeeper, mother, trained nurse, corporation counsel, keeper of the privy purse, chancellor of the exchequer, fighter of exorbitant bills, seamstress, linen woman, doctor of small ills, the acme of perpetual good nature, and my best friend. Cheiro, when he read my palm, said he never before had seen a hand which had less of a line of luck than mine. He said that I was obliged to put forth tremendous effort for whatever I achieved. But that was before Mary selected me for a mistress, for Mary was my first bit of pure luck. Our meeting came about in this way. We were at the Waldorf for our honeymoon, which shows how inexperienced we were, when a chance acquaintance of the Angel's said to him one night in the billiard-room: "Jardine, I hear that you are going to housekeeping!" "Yes," said Aubrey, "we are." "Has your wife engaged a cook yet?" "Why, no, I don't believe she has thought about it." "Well, I know exactly the woman for her. Elderly, honest, experienced, cooks game to perfection, doesn't drink, thoroughly competent in every way, and the quaintest character I ever knew. Lived in her last place twenty-three years, and only left when the family was broken up. Shall I send her to see you?"