Short stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
The second day following, Lansing clasped his wife to his breast,
and this is the story she told him, interrupted with weepings and
shudderings and ecstatic embraces of reassurance. The reasons which had
determined her, in disregard of the dictates of her own heart, to marry
again, have been sufficiently intimated in her letter to Mrs. Pinney.
For the rest, Mr. Whitcomb was a highly respectable man, whom she
esteemed and believed to be good and worthy. When the hour set for the
marriage arrived, and she took her place by his side before the minister
and the guests, her heart indeed was like lead, but her mind calm and
resolved. The preliminary prayer was long, and it was natural, as it
went on, that her thoughts should go back to the day when she had thus
stood by another's side. She had ado to crowd back the scalding tears,
as she contrasted her present mood of resignation with the mingling of
virginal timidity and the abandon of love in her heart that other day.
Suddenly, seeming to rise out of this painful contrast of the past
and the present, a feeling of abhorrence for the act to which she was
committed possessed her mind. She had all along shrunk from it, as any
sensitive woman might from a marriage without love, but there had
been nothing in that shrinking to compare in intensity with this
uncontrollable aversion which now seized upon her to the idea of holding
a wife's relation to the man by her side. It had all at once come
oyer her that she could not do it. Nevertheless she was a sensible and
rational woman as well as a sweet and lovely one. Whatever might be the
origin of this sudden repugnance, she knew it had none in reason. She
was fulfilling a promise which she had maturely considered, and neither
in justice to herself nor the man to whom she had given it could she
let a purely hysterical attack like this prevent its consummation. She
called reason and common sense to her aid, and resolutely struggled to
banish the distressing fancies that assailed her. The moisture stood out
upon her forehead with the severity of the conflict, which momentarily
increased. At last the minister ended his prayer, of which she had not
heard a word. The bridal pair were bidden to take each other by the
hand. As the bridegroom's fingers closed around hers, she could not
avoid a shudder as at a loathsome contact. It was only by a supreme
effort of self-control that she restrained from snatching her hand away
with a scream. She did not hear what the minister went on to say. Every
faculty was concentrated on the struggle, which had now become one of
desperation, to repress an outbreak of the storm that was raging within.
For, despite the shuddering protest of every instinct and the wild
repulsion with which every nerve tingled, she was determined to go
through the ceremony. But though the will in its citadel still held out,
she knew that it could not be for long. Each wave of emotion that it
withstood was higher, stronger, than the last.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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