London (England) -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Women artists -- Fiction
But in another second all her curiosity, amusement, idle interest,
were fled, and her whole emotive force concentrated into a short,
irrepressible gasp of astonishment. It was a photograph of Thornton,
her husband. There was no mistaking it. She had the fellow to it in her
album. One day long ago she had seen it among his odds and ends, and had
begged for it, loving it for all that it was so many years old, taken
when he was still in the army. He looked so stalwart, soldierly,
magnificent in his uniform. It was perhaps the likeness of him that she
had cherished most--only too familiar. For a moment she could hardly
understand--the shock was so sudden and unexpected. Then with the quick
reaction she realised what it meant. Thornton was Jack's father, Mrs.
Burmester was his mother. With a shudder of disgust she threw the
photograph on the table.
The riddle of Jack's parentage was solved in a way she had not looked
for; the mystery that had lain hidden in strange, unknown depths of
passion was now clear to her in all its unlovely nakedness. Her soul
sickened at the truth. She had not come to her husband with the helpless
ignorance of a young girl. The knowledge of good and evil, to employ the
somewhat meaningless euphemism, had come to her through her intelligence
by means of books, through her contact with real life. She had grasped
the fact of the existence of the Loulou Mendès type with whom love is a
trade. That a man should have had a liaison with such a woman she could
have understood. In fact she never at any one moment had fancied that
Thornton had brought to her the pure ardour of a virgin soul. To have
been revolted at the discovery of a mere antenuptial infidelity on the
part of her husband would have been to her impossible. It was not noble,
it is true; but it was intelligible. There was certainly for a lower
nature a charm, witchery, fascination, in the fleshly beauty of the
courtesan. She had heard of many men falling victims to it, and sinking
very little into degradation. If Jack's mother had been such a woman,
she would have felt little more than the shock of coincidence, a sense
of strangeness in her relations with the boy. But Jack's mother was not
of this type. She never had charm, witchery, or fascination. She had
never even passable good looks. A poor, stolid, dull, animal drudge.
The truth had come upon Clytie; the truth that had touched her now
and then with its bat wings, making her shiver; the horrible,
soul-nauseating truth of the eternal _beast_ in man. She knew Thornton
now as he was, and her indifference passed into loathing. In Thornton's
feelings what difference had there been between this boy's mother and
herself?
She walked swiftly up and down the studio, with clenched white hands,
her shoulders rising now and then in an involuntary heave of disgust.
The glory had gone out of the day. A foul shadow overspread it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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