England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
"The third one I sent by hand, and it was returned to me unopened. I can
see now that it is only what I might have expected; she did not have a
thought apart from her father, and her father never liked me well enough
to look on me in the light of a son-in-law. He took her away directly he
suspected our liking for one another, and when they got together and
away from me he must have persuaded her to give me up. I wrote to him
and I wrote to her, but, as you know, with no avail. She was a lovable
little thing, spoiled by her weakness of will, poor little Norah!"
"Poor little Norah!" she echoed half mockingly, and crumbled some mortar
off the broken wall and watched it splash into the water below. She was
wondering how it was that she had been more fascinated in half-an-hour
by handsome, empty-headed Jack Raleigh than she had been in three long
years by this large-hearted musician, with the high forehead and the
cavernous eyes, with his passion for metaphysics and Socialism, and his
ardent desires to reform society and the world in his own lifetime. Yet
she found him interesting sometimes, generally when he was not there and
she was thinking about him, and she wondered again why he did not
interest her more, and whether she would not have tumbled into a
commonplace engagement with him if her parents had been alive and he had
been asked to dine at the Court, like any ordinary young man, and she
had been forbidden, like any ordinary young woman, to come down to the
inn and play with his child. But she had no parents to impose
conventionality upon her, and she had gloried in her liberty for
twenty-five years, and she was loth to give it up now for the sake of a
man who, she felt sure, would bore her in a week with his desperate
enthusiasms, and whom she was not even sure that she loved. No, she
could not marry him, she felt sure, and she looked up to say so, and met
his restless eyes watching her with such a boy's eagerness that she
again went off on a side issue.
"I am not livable with, that is the truth," she said rather weakly, and
crumbled some more mortar off the wall, and wished he would not look at
her so gloomily. He was thinking that the courtship was not going as
smoothly as he expected it would, and beginning dimly to understand that
for the only time in his experience he was humbling himself before a
woman who was not going to fall a victim to his persuasions; and the
discovery did not make him more eloquent nor less humble, though it
tended to make him look at the question still more blindly from his own
point of view, and he told himself again, obstinately, that he could not
live without her for his wife.
"Lady Joan," he said suddenly, "is it me that you dislike, or marriage?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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