It is often reproachfully said that one "makes copy" of himself and his
friends--that nothing is too intimately sacred to be seized upon and
dissected in print. Not so long ago, it was said that a certain man was
"botanising on his mother's grave," a pardonable confusion, perhaps, of
facts and realities. The bitter truth is that the writer lives his
books--and not much else. From title to colophon, he escapes no pang,
misses no joy. The life of the book is his from beginning to end. At the
close of it, he has lived what his dream people have lived and borne the
sorrows of half a dozen entire lifetimes, mercilessly concentrated into
the few short months of writing.
One by one, his former pleasures vanish. Even the divine consolation of
books is partly if not wholly gone. Behind the printed page, he sees ever
the machinery of composition, the preparation for climax, the repetition
in its proper place, the introduction and interweaving of major and minor,
of theme and contrast. For the fine, glowing fancy of the other man has
not appeared in his book, and to the eye of the fellow-craftsman only the
mechanism is there. Mask-like, the author stands behind his Punch-and-Judy
box, twitching the strings that move his marionettes, heedless of the fact
that in his audience there must be a few who know him surely for what he
is.
If only the transfiguring might of the Vision could be put into print,
there would be little in the world save books. Happily heedless of the
mockery of it all, Harlan laboured on, destined fully to sense his entire
payment much later, suffer vicariously for a few hours on account of it,
then to forget.
Dorothy, meanwhile, was learning a hard lesson. Harlan's changeless
preoccupation hurt her cruelly, but, woman-like, she considered it a
manifestation of genius and endeavoured to be proud accordingly. It had
not occurred to her that there could ever be anything in Harlan's thought
into which she was not privileged to go. She had thought of marriage as a
sort of miraculous welding of two individualities into one, and was
perceiving that it changed nothing very much; that souls went on their way
unaltered. She saw, too, that there was no one in the wide world who could
share her every mood and tense, that ultimately each one of us lives and
dies alone, within the sanctuary of his own inner self, cheered only by
some passing mood of friend or stranger, which chances to chime with his.
It was Dick who, blindly enough, helped her over many a hard place, and
quickened her sense of humour into something upon which she might securely
lean. He was too young and too much occupied with the obvious to look
further, but he felt that Dorothy was troubled, and that it was his duty,
as a man and a gentleman, to cheer her up.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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