Augustus Carp, Esq., by Himself: Being the Autobiography of a Really Good ManBashford, H. H. (Henry Howarth), Sir
General
Augustus Carp, Esq., by Himself: Being the Autobiography of a Really Good Man
Bashford, H. H. (Henry Howarth), Sir
English fiction -- 20th century; Humorous stories; Satire
That something had perturbed him was instantly apparent both to my
mother and myself, not only on account of the sudden tremor that became
visible in his left hand but of the extraordinary rapidity with which he
read the appointed chapter, and the verbal errors that consequently
ensued. His subsequent prayer too was so brief that we were scarcely
upon our knees before he had leapt to his feet again, and my mother and
myself, indeed, were still kneeling when he began to expound the idea
that had been vouchsafed to him.
“I have it,” he cried. “It’s just been sent to me. Chrysostom Lorton.
That’s the man. Eighteen editions—that’s what his Bible’s gone into, and
none of the authors with any royalty rights!”
Nor was that all, for in addition, as I have said, to being the elder
brother of Mr. Septimus Lorton, he was not only the proprietor of the
well-known _Beulah_, perhaps the most popular of weekly religious
journals, but his _Peeping Up Series for Children_, devotional stories
with coloured illustrations, were familiar objects upon the nursery
book-shelves of every evangelical household. Moreover he was the medium
through which were issued to the world many millions of hortatory
pamphlets, while the counters of his show-room in Paternoster Row were
heaped with every kind of Protestant literature.
Such then was the man and such the undertaking, not only Xtian but
lucrative, that by a chance gesture, or so it might have seemed, now
stood beckoning before us; and it was only necessary, as my father
justly said, for his brother Septimus to do the rest. But would he? I
was at first doubtful. A weak man, he was also inert. And it did not of
course follow that because he used his brother’s Bible he was on
intimate or influential terms with him. This much was clear, however,
that as the oldest pupil in his school, and in view of the treatment
that I had received from his subordinates, he was under an obligation to
me that neither my father nor myself could morally allow ourselves to
remit. And although for reasons that I have already mentioned I had not
advanced from my original class, in the strictly ethical sense, by his
own admission, I was _facile princeps_.[4]
Footnote 4:
Easily first.
“A good boy,” said Mr. Lorton, “a very, very good boy, or shall we say,
now that he has begun to shave, an extremely admirable young man.”
This was upon the next evening, the penultimate evening of my last term
at school, when both my father and myself were sitting in Mr. Lorton’s
study for the purpose indicated above.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account