Augustus Carp, Esq., by Himself: Being the Autobiography of a Really Good ManBashford, H. H. (Henry Howarth), Sir
General
Augustus Carp, Esq., by Himself: Being the Autobiography of a Really Good Man
Bashford, H. H. (Henry Howarth), Sir
English fiction -- 20th century; Humorous stories; Satire
Despite his denials, however, supported as they were by references to
prominent local residents, the group of vociferators was quickly growing
both in numbers and excitement, and several suggestions were being
audibly made that he should be exterminated by fire. It was a moment for
action, and I took it. Fortunately my police whistle was in my pocket.
And in the next instant I was blowing blast upon blast to the utmost
capacity of my lung power. The effect was immediate. For scarcely had
the boys dispersed when three or four constables arrived on the scene,
all of them breathless from the act of running, but carrying their
truncheons in their hands. Being breathless too, I could only point at
Ezekiel, and for the first moment they misunderstood me, rapidly
surrounding him, as he leaned against a lamp-post, and lifting their
truncheons above their heads. Once again therefore it was a moment for
action, and once again I took it. Throwing myself in front of him, I
shouted to them to forbear, and then very briefly I explained what had
happened. Unfortunately, as I have said, the boys had already dispersed.
But then, as I pointed out to them, that had been my object, and the
fact that this had taken place before their arrival was no reflection
upon their courage. I cannot record, however, that their reception of
this news was either Xtian or even courteous, and it was a very great
relief both to myself and Ezekiel when these powerful professionals at
last went away. Nevertheless, as Ezekiel said, I had probably twice
saved his life, and during the evening meal, to which he at once invited
me, both his parents and his five sisters repeatedly expressed their
satisfaction. Mr. Abraham Stool, indeed, who had not then been
segregated, but who was already under the impression that he was the
Hebrew patriarch, several times insisted upon my approaching him and
placing my hand under his left thigh, after which he would offer me, in
addition to Mrs. Stool, a varying number of rams and goats.
Needless to say, I declined to accept these, and a week or two later, as
I have already indicated, it was deemed advisable, owing to his tendency
to sacrifice, to place him in other and remoter surroundings. But it was
a happy evening, during which, as I shall always remember, Ezekiel Stool
expressed his regret that my father and myself were not
fellow-worshippers with them at St. Nicholas, Newington Butts. Satisfied
as we were, however, with St. James-the-Least-of-All, where my father
had now become senior sidesman, we had seen no reason, as I was obliged
to point out to him, for again transferring our worship; and little did
I dream that even as I was speaking those sinister events were already
shaping themselves that were ultimately to unite us—their only redeeming
outcome—in this new and closer bond.
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CHAPTER XI
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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