Scotland -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
Run line had on her the effect of
the reading of the Riot Act. Once some men, capable of anything, held
the door from the outside, and the congregation heard Tibbie rampaging
in the passage. Bursting into the kirk she called the office-bearers to
her assistance, whereupon the minister in miniature raised his voice and
demanded the why and wherefore of the ungodly disturbance. Great was the
hubbub, but the door was fast, and a compromise had to be arrived at.
The old lady consented for once to stand in the passage, but not without
pressing her hands to her ears. You may smile at Tibbie, but ah! I know
what she was at a sick bedside. I have seen her when the hard look had
gone from her eyes, and it would ill become me to smile too.
As with all the churches in Thrums, care had been taken to make the Auld
Licht one much too large. The stair to the “laft” or gallery, which
was originally little more than ladder, is ready for you as soon as you
enter the doorway, but it is best to sit in the body of the kirk.
The plate for collections is inside the church, so that the whole
congregation can give a guess at what you give. If it is something
very stingy or very liberal, all Thrums knows of it within a few hours;
indeed, this holds good of all the churches, especially perhaps of
the Free one, which has been called the bawbee kirk, because so many
halfpennies find their way into the plate. On Saturday nights the Thrums
shops are besieged for coppers by housewives of all denominations, who
would as soon think of dropping a threepenny bit into the plate as of
giving nothing. Tammy Todd had a curious way of tipping his penny into
the Auld Licht plate while still keeping his hand to his side. He did
it much as a boy fires a marble, and there was quite a talk in the
congregation the first time he missed. A devout plan was to carry your
penny in your hand all the way to church, but to appear to take it out
of your pocket on entering, and some plumped it down noisily like men
paying their way. I believe old Snecky Hobart, who was a canty stock but
obstinate, once dropped a penny into the plate and took out a halfpenny
as change, but the only untoward thing that happened to the plate was
once when the lassie from the farm of Curly Bog capsized it in passing.
Mr. Dishart, who was always a ready man, introduced something into
his sermon that day about women's dress, which every one hoped Christy
Lundy, the lassie in question, would remember. Nevertheless, the
minister sometimes came to a sudden stop himself when passing from the
vestry to the pulpit. The passage being narrow, his rigging would catch
in a pew as he sailed down the aisle. Even then, however, Mr. Dishart
remembered that he was not as other men.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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