'Never, Macer, would I shrink from any trial to which the Lord in his
wisdom might call me--that you know. But has not Probus uttered a truth,
when he says, that we are not innocent, and never glorious, when we
seek death? that he who seeks martyrdom is no martyr? Listen, Macer, to
the wisdom of Probus and the noble Piso. Did you not promise that you
would patiently hear them?'
'Woman--I have heard them--their words are naught, stark naught, or
worse. Where would have been the blessed gospel at this hour, had it
been committed to such counsels? Even under Nero would it have died for
want of those who were willing to die for it. I am a soldier of the
cross, whose very vocation it is to fight and die. And if I may but die,
blessed Jesus, for thee! then may I hope that thou wilt deal mercifully
with thy servant at thy judgment-seat. I hear thy voice ever sounding in
my ear, reproving me for my cowardice. Have patience with me, and I will
give thee all. And if labor, and torture, and death, would but cancel
sin!--But alas! even they may not suffice.'
'Then, dear father,' said one of his daughters who had drawn near and
seated herself at his knee, while the others had gathered round, 'then
will we add ourselves to the sacrifice.'
'Would you?' said Macer--in an absent, musing way--as if some other
thought were occupying him.
Thinking that his love of his children, evidently a very strong
affection in him, might be made to act as a restraint, I said, 'that I
feared he greatly exposed his little family to unnecessary danger.
Already had his dwelling been once assailed, and the people were now
ripe for any violence. This group of little ones can ill encounter a
rude and furious mob.'
'They can die, can they not?' said Macer. 'Is that difficult, or
impossible? If the Lord need them, they are his. I can ask no happier
lot for them than that by death they may glorify God. And what is it to
die so, more than in another way? Let them die in their beds, and whom
do they benefit? They die then to themselves, and no one is the gainer;
let them die by the sword of Varus, or by the stones of the populace,
and then they become themselves stones in the foundation of that temple
of God, of which Jesus is the chief corner-stone, and they are glorious
forever. What say you, Cicer, will you die for Christ?'
The little fellow hid his head in his father's bosom at this sudden
appeal, but soon drew it out and said,
'I would rather die for you, father.'
'Ah!' said Macer, 'how am I punished in my children! Cicer, would you
not die for Christ?'
'I would die for him if you wish it.'
'Macer,' said Probus, 'do you not see how God has bound you and this
family into one? and he surely requires you not to separate yourself,
their natural protector, from them forever; still less, to involve them
in all the sufferings which, taking the course you do, may come upon
them at any hour.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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