'Do you not remember, at the time I narrated to you the brief story of
my life, that, as I ended, a rough voice from among the soldiers
exclaimed, 'Where now are the gods of Rome?' This is that man, the
soldier Macer; then bound with fellow soldiers to the service in Africa,
now a Christian preacher.'
'I see it now. That man impressed me then with his thin form and
all-devouring eyes. But the African climate, and the gash across his
left cheek, and which seems to have slightly disturbed the eye upon that
side, have made him a different being, and almost a terrific one. Is he
sound and sane?'
'Perfectly so,' replied Probus, 'unless we may say that souls earnestly
devoted and zealous, are mad. There is not a more righteous soul in
Rome. His conscience is bare, and shrinking like a fresh wound. His
breast is warm and fond as a woman's--his penitence for the wild errors
of his pagan youth, a consuming fire, which, while it redoubles his
ardor in doing what he may in the cause of truth, rages in secret, and,
if the sword or the cross claim him not, will bring him to the grave. He
is utterly incapable of fear. All the racks and dungeons of Rome, with
their tormentors, could not terrify him.'
'You now interest me in him. I must see and know him. It might be of
service to him and to all, Probus, methinks, if he could be brought to
associate with those whose juster notions might influence his, and
modify them to the rule of truth.'
'I fear not. What he sees, he sees clearly and strongly, and by itself.
He understands nothing of one truth bearing upon another, and adding to
it, or taking from it. Truth is truth with him--and as his own mind
perceives it--not another's. His conscience will allow him in no
accommodations to other men's opinions or wishes; with him, right is
right, wrong is wrong. He is impatient under an argument as a war-horse
under the rein after the trumpet sounds. It is unavoidable therefore
but he should possess great power among the Christians of Rome. His are
the bold and decisive qualities that strike the common mind. There is
glory and applause in following and enduring under such a leader. Many
are fain to believe him divinely illuminated and impelled, to unite the
characters of teacher and prophet; and from knowing that he is so
regarded by others, Macer has come almost to believe it himself. He is
tending more and more to construe every impulse of his own mind into a
divine suggestion, and I believe honestly experiences difficulty in
discriminating between them. Still, I do not deny that it would be of
advantage for him more and more to come in contact with sober and
enlightened minds. I shall take pleasure, at some fitting moment, to
accompany you to his humble dwelling; the rather as I would show you
also his wife and children, all of whom are like himself Christians.'
'I shall not forget the promise.'
Whereupon we separated.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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