Autobiography and Selected EssaysHuxley, Thomas Henry
Science
Autobiography and Selected Essays
Huxley, Thomas Henry
Science
As I grew older, my great desire was to be a mechanical engineer, but
the fates were against this and, while very young, I commenced the study
of medicine under a medical brother-in-law. But, though the Institute
of Mechanical Engineers would certainly not own me, I am not sure that
I have not all along been a sort of mechanical engineer in partibus
infidelium.[6] I am now occasionally horrified to think how very little
I ever knew or cared about medicine as the art of healing. The only
part of my professional course which really and deeply interested me was
physiology, which is the mechanical engineering of living machines; and,
notwithstanding that natural science has been my proper business, I am
afraid there is very little of the genuine naturalist in me. I never
collected anything, and species work was always a burden to me; what I
cared for was the architectural and engineering part of the business,
the working out of the wonderful unity of plan in the thousands and
thousands of diverse living constructions, and the modifications of
similar apparatuses to serve diverse ends. The extraordinary attraction
I felt towards the study of the intricacies of living structure nearly
proved fatal to me at the outset. I was a mere boy--I think between
thirteen and fourteen years of age--when I was taken by some older
student friends of mine to the first post-mortem examination I ever
attended. All my life I have been most unfortunately sensitive to the
disagreeables which attend anatomical pursuits, but on this occasion my
curiosity overpowered all other feelings, and I spent two or three
hours in gratifying it. I did not cut myself, and none of the ordinary
symptoms of dissection-poison supervened, but poisoned I was somehow,
and I remember sinking into a strange state of apathy. By way of a last
chance, I was sent to the care of some good, kind people, friends of
my father's, who lived in a farmhouse in the heart of Warwickshire.
I remember staggering from my bed to the window on the bright spring
morning after my arrival, and throwing open the casement. Life seemed to
come back on the wings of the breeze, and to this day the faint odor of
wood-smoke, like that which floated across the farm-yard in the early
morning, is as good to me as the "sweet south upon a bed of violets."[7]
I soon recovered, but for years I suffered from occasional paroxysms of
internal pain, and from that time my constant friend, hypochondriacal
dyspepsia, commenced his half century of co-tenancy of my fleshly
tabernacle.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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