In all ordinary matters of existence, grandpapa was of a happy facility.
He tolerated every error, every crime, I believe, except a false note or
an inferior taste in music. He loved me, not because of the accuracy of
my ear, for I had none to speak of, but because of my instinctive
passion for music. Still, in middle life, I can say there never has been
for me a grief that could resist the consolation of music well
interpreted.
If grandpapa found me in a corner white and dejected, he asked no
questions,--he wished to be in ignorance of his daughter's domestic
affairs, which was the reason, I suppose, he so sedulously avoided the
society of my stepfather--but he took me off with him to hear music or
singing somewhere. In winter he took me to the pantomime, and we sat in
the pit, and he indulged me with an orange to suck.
In the Dublin season he took me to the Opera or the Opera-Bouffe with
equal readiness. Sometimes there were morning or afternoon concerts, and
I sat out with exemplary gravity sonatas and concerts or part-singing,
and woke up to genial comprehension of the ballads and simple melodies.
Grandpapa had one great charm. He never spoke to me as a child, and I
rarely understood the tenth of his talk. That was why, no doubt, as a
personage grandpapa appealed so delightfully to my imagination. He was a
mystery, a problem, a permanent excitement. A month or a year--perhaps,
to be more accurate, a month--would elapse without my seeing him, and
then suddenly he would again enter the chaos of dreams and visions, a
smiling dark-eyed old gentleman, with a long black cloak flung round his
shoulder and a slouched felt hat that left revealed his abundant white
hair.
He would place a finger on his lip and say, "Hush!" so mysteriously,
looking round the room. How well I, who lived in such fear of my
mother's presence, understood that attitude and look.
I have since been assured that grandpapa was a harmless lunatic. If so,
he made lunacy more attractive to a child than sanity.
"Hush! I have that to say to you, child, which common ears may not hear.
These people call me Cameron. But, Angela, my real name is Hamlet. I was
born at Elsinore. I will take you to Elsinore some day. It is far away
in a country called Denmark. You yourself, Angela, look like a Dane,
with your yellow hair and blue eyes. Come, there is a concert at
Earlsfort Terrace. They play Bach. I will take you."
Could anything be more calculated to win a child's esteem and reverence
than this assertion that the world knew him by a false name?--that he
was really quite another person from the person they believed him to be?
Then, what sonorous words, Hamlet, Elsinore! Denmark I liked less--it
sounded more like an everyday place--but Elsinore was as good as a
fairy-tale in its awful beauty.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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