Autobiography of a Female SlaveBrowne, Martha Griffith
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Autobiography of a Female Slave
Browne, Martha Griffith
African American women -- Fiction; Didactic fiction; Enslaved women -- Fiction; Kentucky -- Fiction; Slavery -- Fiction
"I do not wish to live longer. I can do no good here, and the sight of
so much misery only makes me more wretched. Father, draw close to me, I
have lost a great deal of blood. My chest and throat are very sore. I
feel that the tide of life ebbs low. I am going fast. My little hour
upon earth is almost spent. Ere long, the great mystery of existence
will be known to me. A cold shadow, with death-dews on its form, hovers
round me. I know, by many signs unknown to others, that death is now
upon me. This difficult and labored speech, this failing breath and
filmy eye, these heavy night-sweats--all tell me that the golden bowl is
about to be broken: the silver cord is tightened to its utmost tension.
I am young, father; I have forborne to speak to you upon a subject that
has lain near, near, very near my heart." A violent paroxysm of coughing
here interrupted him. Instantly Miss Bradly was beside him with a
cordial, which he drank mechanically. "There," he continued, as he
poised himself upon his elbow, "there, good Miss Emily, cordials are of
no avail. I do not wish to stay. Father, do you not want me to rest
quietly in my grave?"
"I don't want you to go to the grave at all, my boy, my boy," and Mr.
Peterkin burst into tears.
"Yes, but, father, I am going there fast, and no human power can stay
me. I shall be happy and resigned, if I can elicit from you one
promise."
"What promise is that?"
"Liberate your slaves."
"Never!"
"Look at me, father."
"Good God!" cried Mr. Peterkin, as his eye met the calm, clear, fixed
gaze of his son, "where did you get that look? heaven and h--l! it will
kill me;" and, rushing from the room, he sought his own apartment, where
he drank long and deeply from the black bottle that graced his
mantel-shelf. This was his drop of comfort. Always after lashing a
negro, he drank plentifully, as if to drown his conscience. Alas! many
another man has sought relief from memory by such libations! Yet these
are the voters, the noblesse, the lords so superior to the lowly
African. These are the men who vote for a perpetuation of our captivity.
Can we hope for a mitigation of our wrongs when such men are our
sovereigns? Cool, clear-visioned men are few, noble philanthropic ones
are fewer. What then have we to hope for? Our interests are at war with
old established usages. The prejudices of society are against us. The
pride of the many is adverse to us. All this we have to fight against;
and strong must be the moral force that can overcome it.
Mr. Peterkin did not venture in young master's room for several hours
after; and not without having been sent for repeatedly. Meanwhile I
sought Amy, and found her lying on the floor of the cabin, with her face
downwards. She did not move when I entered, nor did she answer me when
I spoke. I lifted her up, but the hard, stony expression of her face,
frightened me.
"Amy, I will be your friend."
"I don't want any friend."
"Yes you do, you like me."
"No I don't, I doesn't like anybody."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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