Yogananda, Paramahansa, 1893-1952; Yogis -- India -- Biography
“Guruji, I came to you as a high-school youth; now I am a grown
man, even with a gray hair or two. Though you have showered me with
silent affection from the first hour to this, do you realize that
once only, on the day of meeting, have you ever said, ‘I love you’?”
I looked at him pleadingly.
Master lowered his gaze. “Yogananda, must I bring out into the cold
realms of speech the warm sentiments best guarded by the wordless
heart?”
“Guruji, I know you love me, but my mortal ears ache to hear you
say so.”
“Be it as you wish. During my married life I often yearned for a
son, to train in the yogic path. But when you came into my life,
I was content; in you I have found my son.” Two clear teardrops
stood in Sri Yukteswar’s eyes. “Yogananda, I love you always.”
“Your answer is my passport to heaven.” I felt a weight lift from
my heart, dissolved forever at his words. Often had I wondered at
his silence. Realizing that he was unemotional and self-contained,
yet sometimes I feared I had been unsuccessful in fully satisfying
him. His was a strange nature, never utterly to be known; a nature
deep and still, unfathomable to the outer world, whose values he
had long transcended.
A few days later, when I spoke before a huge audience at Albert
Hall in Calcutta, Sri Yukteswar consented to sit beside me on the
platform, with the Maharaja of Santosh and the Mayor of Calcutta.
Though Master made no remark to me, I glanced at him from time to
time during my address, and thought I detected a pleased twinkle
in his eyes.
Then came a talk before the alumni of Serampore College. As I gazed
upon my old classmates, and as they gazed on their own “Mad Monk,”
tears of joy showed unashamedly. My silver-tongued professor of
philosophy, Dr. Ghoshal, came forward to greet me, all our past
misunderstandings dissolved by the alchemist Time.
A Winter Solstice Festival was celebrated at the end of December
in the Serampore hermitage. As always, Sri Yukteswar’s disciples
gathered from far and near. Devotional SANKIRTANS, solos in the
nectar-sweet voice of Kristo-da, a feast served by young disciples,
Master’s profoundly moving discourse under the stars in the thronged
courtyard of the ashram-memories, memories! Joyous festivals of
years long past! Tonight, however, there was to be a new feature.
[Illustration: Last Solstice Festival celebrated by Sri Yukteswar,
December, 1935. My Guru is seated in the center; I am at his
right, in the large courtyard of his hermitage in Serampore.—see
festival.jpg]
“Yogananda, please address the assemblage-in English.” Master’s
eyes were twinkling as he made this doubly unusual request; was he
thinking of the shipboard predicament that had preceded my first
lecture in English? I told the story to my audience of brother
disciples, ending with a fervent tribute to our guru.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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