Autographs for Freedom, Volume 2 (of 2) (1854) — John Shaqi
Autographs for Freedom, Volume 2 (of 2) (1854)
History
Autographs for Freedom, Volume 2 (of 2) (1854)
Antislavery movements -- United States; Slavery -- United States
"You need," said Mary, "the teachings of God's spirit. You know I took
delight in those things a year ago, but God's spirit taught me that I
was sinning in partaking of them. I was at Fayolle's, dancing, and, in
the midst of a figure in the cotillon, my head became giddy, and I had
to be supported to a seat. I soon recovered, but the thought of a
sudden death distressed me, for it came very forcibly to my mind--I am
a wicked sinner."
"O, Mary, Mary," interrupted Albert, "you did not think yourself a
sinner!"
"Yes, Albert, I did. I had never thought so before, but had rather
prided myself upon being called a good girl by all my acquaintances.
But I now saw things in a different light; and when I went home and
began self-examination, I soon found I had a very wicked heart. I
tried to do better, but the more I tried to live unto God the more I
discovered the proneness of my heart to sin. I tried to think good
thoughts, and evil thoughts came directly in my way to mar my peace.
Day after day I made effort to purify my thoughts. It was all in vain.
A pure thought immediately suggested its opposite, and I found myself
more familiar with the evil than the good. It shocked me. But I
penetrated deeper and deeper into my own heart--into the iniquity of
my soul, until I despaired of ever sounding its depth. I then cried to
God to have mercy on me. He heard my prayer, and Jesus Christ came to
my help. I felt that he had suffered in my stead, and had poured out
his blood as an atonement for my sins. I found peace to my soul as I
cast myself, a poor, helpless sinner, upon his atoning altar, and
bathed myself in his all-cleansing blood."
Mary could proceed no farther, for the tears began to flow too
rapidly, and her emotion might have been noticed by others than
Albert.
The wind, too, began to rise, and it blew so fresh that they retired
to the cabin, where Albert occupied himself with a game of chess, and
Mary read, with evident pleasure, such parts of her dearly-prized
Bible which suited the state of her mind, occasionally calling
Albert's attention to some passage particularly striking.
In the afternoon, Mary took her seat in a position to enjoy the best
view of the western sky, in which floated, in all their gorgeousness,
the variegated sun-lit clouds.
Albert soon joined her. "Well, Mary, you seem to be meditating; but
allow me to participate in the luxury of your reflections upon that
splendid horizon."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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