Conduct of life -- Fiction; Invalids -- Fiction; Married people -- Fiction
He had risen from his knees and stood beside her, looking down. Her
weakness and her loveliness seemed to lift themselves towards him like
pleading things which he thrust off. He felt uncomfortable and
irresolute. He was conscious of trying not to look annoyed.
"You are going in a boat?" she asked, very faintly now.
"Well--yes--a sort of boat." Avery fumbled fatuously. "It's quite a
safe one," he added. "And Romer says"-- He began to tell her what
Romer said.
"And guns?" she whispered. "There will be guns?"
"Oh, I presume Tom has a gun," replied the husband, with what he felt
to be an ingenious veracity. "You know I 'm no shot. I don't like
guns much better than you do, dear.... I 'm getting late," he observed
abruptly. "But I won't go, Jean, if you don't want me to. I thought
it might set me up a little," he added, before she could reply.
In fact, she did not seem to incline to reply, or did not feel able to
do so; he could not tell which. She lay looking up at him quite
steadily. Molly had taken both the children into the nursery, and the
two were alone. A clock ticked on the mantel in a loud, irritating
tone. The white silk Spanish shawl which had fallen from the lounge
hung to his coat-sleeve; it was a delicate thing, and the fringe clung
like tendrils; he had to tear it off roughly.
He bethought him to wrap the shawl about her when he had done this, for
she seemed to be cold. As he bent to perform for her this little
service--which was offered with an obtrusive tenderness--he stooped and
kissed her throat. The soft, sweet flesh quivered at his touch. Jean
raised her weak arms and clasped them about his neck. But they fell
back instantly, as if the action had hurt her.
"Come, dear," he resumed hurriedly. "Shall I go--or not?"
"I don't feel _quite_ well," faltered Jean. "I think--I slept too
long--that heavenly sleep ... last night"--
"I 'll go and tell Romer I can't go," said Avery shortly. He started,
and went half across the room, then paused. "Well, Jean?" he
suggested. Jean did not reply. She was lying just as he had left her,
with her arms fallen at her sides, her bright hair brushed back from
her face, which looked strangely prominent and large. There was that
in her eyes which a man would not have refused in a dog. The husband
returned impetuously to her side.
"Poor Jean! I won't go. Really I won't. I 'll do just as you
say--truly I will. Won't you _say_, Jean? Won't you express a wish?"
But Jean shook her head. The time had come when she had no wish to
express; and she seemed not to have the strength to express even the
fact that she had none.
"If you think it best ... for you" ... The words were inarticulate.
"I really do," urged Avery uncomfortably. "At least, I did--that is,
unless you are actually too ill to spare me.... How is a man to know?"
he muttered, not thinking she would hear.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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