When I was uncovered, I rose, stepped out of my coffin, and kneeled.
The Bishop then addressed these words to the Superior, "Take care and
keep pure and spotless this young virgin, whom Christ has consecrated
to himself this day." After which the music commenced, and here the
whole was finished. I then proceeded from the chapel, and returned to
the Superior's room, followed by the other nuns, who walked two by two,
in their customary manner, with their hands folded on their breasts,
and their eyes cast down upon the floor. The nun who was to be my
companion in future, then walked at the end of the procession. On
reaching the Superior's door, they all left me, and I entered alone,
and found her with the Bishop and two priests.
The Superior now informed me, that having taken the black veil, it only
remained that I should swear the three oaths customary on becoming a
nun; and that some explanations would be necessary from her. I was now,
she told me, to have access to every part of the edifice, even to the
cellar, where two of the sisters were imprisoned for causes which she
did not mention. I must be informed, that one of my great duties was,
to obey the priests in all things; and this I soon learnt, to my utter
astonishment and horror, was to live in the practice of criminal
intercourse with them. I expressed some of the feelings which this
announcement excited in me, which came upon me like a flash of
lightning, but the only effect was to set her arguing with me, in favor
of the crime, representing it as a virtue acceptable to God, and
honorable to me. The priests, she said, were not situated like other
men, being forbidden to marry; while they lived secluded, laborious,
and self-denying lives for our salvation. They might, indeed, be
considered our saviours, as without their services we could not obtain
the pardon of sin, and must go to hell. Now, it was our solemn duty, on
withdrawing from the world, to consecrate our lives to religion, to
practice every species of self-denial. We could not become too humble,
nor mortify our feelings too far; this was to be done by opposing them,
and acting contrary to them; and what she proposed was, therefore,
pleasing in the sight of God. I now felt how foolish I had been to
place myself in the power of such persons as were around me.
From what she said I could draw no other conclusion, but that I was
required to act like the most abandoned of beings, and that all my
future associates were habitually guilty of the most heinous and
detestable crimes. When I repeated my expressions of surprise and
horror, she told me that such feelings were very common at first, and
that many other nuns had expressed themselves as I did, who had long
since changed their minds. She even said, that on her entrance into the
nunnery, she had felt like me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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