Courtship -- England -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
Then he asked me as to my ideas,--not art ideas, but ideas
as to bread and cheese for the future. I told him as
exactly as I could. I explained to him that if you were
left in possession of a comfortable home, such as would
have been that of your father, I should think it best for
your sake to delay our marriage till I should be prepared
to do something better for you than I can at present;
but that I hold myself ready to give you all that I have
to give at a moment's notice, should you be required to
leave his house. And, Lucy, speaking in your name, I said
something further, and declared my belief that you, for
my sake, would bear the inconveniences of so poor a home
without complaining.
Then there arose anger both on his side and on mine; and I
must say, insult on his. He told me that I had no business
to suggest that you would be expelled from his house. I
replied that the threat had come, if not from him, then
from Lady Tringle. Upon this he accused me of positive
falsehood, asserting that your aunt had said nothing of
the kind. I then referred him to Lady Tringle herself, but
refused to stay any longer in the room with him, because
he had insulted me.
So you will see that I did less than nothing by my
embassy. I told myself that it would be so as I descended
into the underground cavern at the Gloucester Road
Station. You are not to suppose that I blame him more, or,
indeed, so much as I do myself. It was not to be expected
that he should behave as a gentleman of fine feeling. But,
perhaps, it ought to have been expected that I should
behave as a man of common sense. I ought to have taken
his advice about the auction, apparently, in good part.
I ought not to have writhed when he scorned my poor
earnings. When he asked as to my ideas, I should not have
alluded to your aunt's threat as to turning you out. I
should have been placid and humble; and then his want of
generous feeling would have mattered nothing. But spilt
milk and broken eggs are past saving. Whatever good things
may have come from your uncle's generosity had I brushed
his hair for him aright, are now clean gone, seeing that I
scrubbed him altogether the wrong way.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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