Courtship -- England -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
Now I have written to you a long letter, and think
that I have indicated to you the true state of my
feelings. Whatever may turn up I do not think I shall go
fortune-hunting again. If half-a-million in female hands
were to throw itself at my head, there is no saying
whether I might not yield. But I do not think that I shall
again make inquiry as to the amount of booty supposed
to be within the walls of a city, and then sit down to
besiege the city with regular lines of approach. It is a
disgusting piece of work. I do not say but what I can lie,
and did lie foully on the last siege operation; but I do
not like it. And then to be told that one is unmanly by
the father, and a coward by the young lady, as occurred to
me in this affair, is disheartening. They were both right,
though I repudiated their assertions. This might be borne
as a prelude to success; but, as part of a failure, it is
disgusting. At the present moment I am considering what
economy might effect as to a future bachelor life, and
am meditating to begin with a couple of mutton chops and
half-a-pint of sherry for my dinner to-day. I know I shall
break down and have a woodcock and some champagne.
I will come to you about three on Sunday. If you can
manage that your brother should go out and make his calls,
and your sister attend divine service in the afternoon, it
would be a comfort.
Yours always,
F. HOUSTON.
It was a long rambling letter, without a word in it of solid
clearly-expressed meaning; but Imogene, as she read it, understood
very well its real purport. She understood more than its purport, for
she could see by it,--more clearly than the writer did himself,--how
far her influence over the man had been restored, and how far she
might be able to restore it. But was it well that she should regain
her influence? Her influence regained would simply mean a renewed
engagement. No doubt the storm on the hill-side had come from the
violence of true love on her part! No doubt her heart had been
outraged by the idea that he should give himself up to another woman
after all that had passed between them. She had been devoted to him
altogether; but yet she had been taught by him to regard her love as
a passion which of its nature contained something of the ridiculous.
He had never ceased gently to laugh at himself, even in her presence,
because he had subjected himself to her attraction. She had caught
up the same spirit,--or at any rate the expression of spirit,--and,
deceived by that, he had thought that to relieve herself from the
burden of her love would be as easy to her as to him. In making this
mistake he had been ignorant of the intrinsic difference in the
nature of a man's and of a woman's heart, and had been unaware that
that, which to a man at his best can only be a part of his interest
in his life's concerns, will to a woman be everything. She had
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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