But neither Sinfi nor I was in the mood for frolic. My living-waggon,
which still went about wherever the Lovells went, had been carefully
prepared for me by Rhona, and I at once went into it, not with the
idea of getting much sleep, but in order to be alone with my
thoughts. What was I to think of my experiences of that evening? Was
I really to take the spectacle that had seemed to fall upon my eyes
when listening to Sinfi's crwth, or rather when listening to her
song, as evidence that Winifred was alive? Oh, if I could, if I
could! Was I really to accept as true this fantastic superstition
about the crwth and the spirits of Snowdon and the 'living mullo'?
That was too monstrous a thought even for me to entertain.
Notwithstanding all that had passed in the long and dire struggle
between my reason and the mysticism inherited with the blood of two
lines of superstitious ancestors, which circumstances had conspired
to foster, my reason had only been baffled and thwarted; it had not
really been slain.
What, then, could be the explanation of the spectacle that had seemed
to fall upon my eyes? 'It is hallucination,' I said, 'and it is the
result of two very powerful causes--my own strong imagination,
excited to a state of feverish exaltation by the long strain of my
suffering, and that power in Sinfi which D'Arcy had described as her
"half-unconscious power as a mesmerist." At a moment when my will,
weakened by sorrow and pain, lay prostrate beneath my own fevered
imagination, Sinfi's voice, so full of intense belief in her own
hallucination, had leapt, as it were, into my consciousness and
enslaved my imagination, which in turn had enslaved my will and my
senses.'
For hours I argued this point with myself, and I ended by coming
to the conclusion that it was 'my mind's eye' alone that saw the
picture of Winifred.
But there was also another question to confront. What was the cause
of Sinfi's astonishing emotion after the vision vanished? Such a
mingling of warring passions I had never seen before. I tried to
account for it. I thought about it for hours, and finally fell
asleep without finding any solution of the enigma.
I had no conversation of a private nature with Sinfi until the next
evening, when the camp was on the move.
'You had no sleep last night, Sinfi; I can see it by the dark circles
round your eyes.'
'That's nuther here nor there, brother,' she said.
I found to my surprise that the Gypsies were preparing to remove the
camp to a place not far from Bettws y Coed. I suggested to Sinfi that
we two should return to the bungalow. But she told me that her stay
there had come to an end. The firmness with which she made this
announcement made me sure that there was no appeal.
'Then,' said I, 'my living-waggon will come into use again. The
camping place is near some of the best trout streams in the
neighbourhood, and I sadly want some trout-fishing.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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