Though my mother did not know of the spiritualistic orgies in
Switzerland, she knew that my father was a spiritualist. And this
vexed her, not only because she conceived it to be visionary folly,
but because it was 'low.' She knew that it led him to join a
newly-formed band of Latter-Day mystics which had been organised at
Raxton, but luckily she did not know that through them he believed
himself to be holding communication with his first wife. The members
of this body were tradespeople of the town, and I quite think that in
my mother's eyes all tradespeople were low.
As to her indifference towards me,--that is easily explained. I was
an incorrigible little bohemian by nature. She despaired of ever
changing me. During several years this indifference distressed me,
though it in no way diminished my affection for her. At last,
however, I got accustomed to it and accepted it as inevitable. But
the remarkable thing was that Frank's affection for his mother was of
the most languid kind. He was an open-hearted boy, and never took
advantage of my mother's favouritism. Thus I was left entirely to my
own resources. My little love-idyl with Winifred was for a long time
unknown to my mother, and no amount of ocular demonstration could
have made it known (in such a dream was he) to my father.
On one occasion, however, my mother, having been struck by her beauty
at church, told Wynne to bring her to the house, little thinking what
she was doing. Accordingly, Winifred came one evening and charmed my
mother, charmed the entire household, by her grace of manner. My
mother, upon whom what she called 'style' made a far greater
impression than anything else, pronounced her to be a perfect little
lady, and I heard her remark that she wondered how the child of such
a scapegrace as Wynne could have been so reared.
Unfortunately I was not old enough to disguise the transports of
delight that set my heart beating and my crippled limbs trembling as
I saw Winifred gliding like a fairy about the house and gardens, and
petted even by my proud and awful mother. My mother did not fail to
notice this, and before long she had got from Frank the history of
our little loves, and even of the 'cripple water' from St. Winifred's
Well. I partly heard what Frank was telling her, and I was the only
one to notice the expression of displeasure that overspread her
features. She did not, however, show it to the child, but she never
invited her there again, and from that evening was much more vigilant
over my movements, lest I should go to Wynne's cottage. I still,
however, continued to meet Winifred in Graylingham Wood during her
stay with her father; and at last, when she again left me, I felt
desolate indeed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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