In the midst of these more diffident invitations, the golden doors of
the ballroom opened with a blatting of trumpets, and a circus parade
rolled in. It was composed of the Zenith brokers, dressed as
cowpunchers, bareback riders, Japanese jugglers. At the head was big
Warren Whitby, in the bearskin and gold-and-crimson coat of a
drum-major. Behind him, as a clown, beating a bass drum, extraordinarily
happy and noisy, was Babbitt.
Warren Whitby leaped on the platform, made merry play with his baton,
and observed, “Boyses and girlses, the time has came to get down to
cases. A dyed-in-the-wool Zenithite sure loves his neighbors, but we’ve
made up our minds to grab this convention off our neighbor burgs like
we’ve grabbed the condensed-milk business and the paper-box business
and--”
J. Harry Barmhill, the convention chairman, hinted, “We’re grateful to
you, Mr. Uh, but you must give the other boys a chance to hand in their
bids now.”
A fog-horn voice blared, “In Eureka we’ll promise free motor rides
through the prettiest country--”
Running down the aisle, clapping his hands, a lean bald young man cried,
“I’m from Sparta! Our Chamber of Commerce has wired me they’ve set aside
eight thousand dollars, in real money, for the entertainment of the
convention!”
A clerical-looking man rose to clamor, “Money talks! Move we accept the
bid from Sparta!”
It was accepted.
VIII
The Committee on Resolutions was reporting. They said that Whereas
Almighty God in his beneficent mercy had seen fit to remove to a sphere
of higher usefulness some thirty-six realtors of the state the past
year, Therefore it was the sentiment of this convention assembled that
they were sorry God had done it, and the secretary should be, and hereby
was, instructed to spread these resolutions on the minutes, and to
console the bereaved families by sending them each a copy.
A second resolution authorized the president of the S.A.R.E.B. to spend
fifteen thousand dollars in lobbying for sane tax measures in the State
Legislature. This resolution had a good deal to say about Menaces to
Sound Business and clearing the Wheels of Progress from ill-advised and
short-sighted obstacles.
The Committee on Committees reported, and with startled awe Babbitt
learned that he had been appointed a member of the Committee on Torrens
Titles.
He rejoiced, “I said it was going to be a great year! Georgie, old son,
you got big things ahead of you! You’re a natural-born orator and a good
mixer and-- Zowie!”
IX
There was no formal entertainment provided for the last evening. Babbitt
had planned to go home, but that afternoon the Jered Sassburgers of
Pioneer suggested that Babbitt and W. A. Rogers have tea with them at
the Catalpa Inn.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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