Teas were not unknown to Babbitt--his wife and he earnestly attended
them at least twice a year--but they were sufficiently exotic to make
him feel important. He sat at a glass-covered table in the Art Room of
the Inn, with its painted rabbits, mottoes lettered on birch bark, and
waitresses being artistic in Dutch caps; he ate insufficient lettuce
sandwiches, and was lively and naughty with Mrs. Sassburger, who was as
smooth and large-eyed as a cloak-model. Sassburger and he had met two
days before, so they were calling each other “Georgie” and “Sassy.”
Sassburger said prayerfully, “Say, boys, before you go, seeing this is
the last chance, I’ve _got it_, up in my room, and Miriam here is the
best little mixologist in the Stati Unidos, like us Italians say.”
With wide flowing gestures, Babbitt and Rogers followed the Sassburgers
to their room. Mrs. Sassburger shrieked, “Oh, how terrible!” when she
saw that she had left a chemise of sheer lavender crêpe on the bed. She
tucked it into a bag, while Babbitt giggled, “Don’t mind us; we’re a
couple o’ little divvils!”
Sassburger telephoned for ice, and the bell-boy who brought it said,
prosaically and unprompted, “Highball glasses or cocktail?” Miriam
Sassburger mixed the cocktails in one of those dismal, nakedly white
water-pitchers which exist only in hotels. When they had finished the
first round she proved by intoning “Think you boys could stand
another--you got a dividend coming” that, though she was but a woman,
she knew the complete and perfect rite of cocktail-drinking.
Outside, Babbitt hinted to Rogers, “Say, W. A., old rooster, it comes
over me that I could stand it if we didn’t go back to the lovin’ wives,
this handsome _Abend_, but just kind of stayed in Monarch and threw a
party, heh?”
“George, you speak with the tongue of wisdom and sagashiteriferousness.
El Wing’s wife has gone on to Pittsburg. Let’s see if we can’t gather
him in.”
At half-past seven they sat in their room, with Elbert Wing and two
up-state delegates. Their coats were off, their vests open, their faces
red, their voices emphatic. They were finishing a bottle of corrosive
bootlegged whisky and imploring the bell-boy, “Say, son, can you get us
some more of this embalming fluid?” They were smoking large cigars and
dropping ashes and stubs on the carpet. With windy guffaws they were
telling stories. They were, in fact, males in a happy state of nature.
Babbitt sighed, “I don’t know how it strikes you hellions, but
personally I like this busting loose for a change, and kicking over a
couple of mountains and climbing up on the North Pole and waving the
aurora borealis around.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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