“I look upon Henri as my friend,” continued Alfred enthusiastically. “He speaks every language known to man. He's been in every country in the world. HENRI UNDERSTANDS LIFE.” “LOTS of people UNDERSTAND LIFE,” commented Jimmy dismally, “but SOME people don't APPRECIATE it. They value it too lightly, to MY way of thinking.” “Ah, but you have something to live for,” argued Alfred. “I have indeed; a great deal,” agreed Jimmy, more and more abused at the thought of what he was about to lose. “Ah, that's different,” exclaimed Alfred. “But what have _I_?” Jimmy was in no frame of mind to consider his young friend's assets, he was thinking of his own difficulties. “I'm a laughing stock,” shouted Alfred. “I know it. A 'good thing' who gives his wife everything she asks for, while she is running around with--with my best friend, for all I know.” “Oh, no, no,” protested Jimmy nervously. “I wouldn't say that.” “Even if she weren't running around,” continued Alfred excitedly, without heeding his friend's interruption, “what have we to look forward to? What have we to look backward to?” Again Jimmy's face was a blank. Alfred answered his own question by lifting his arms tragically toward Heaven. “One eternal round of wrangles and rows! A childless home! Do you think she wants babies?” he cried, wheeling about on Jimmy, and daring him to answer in the affirmative. “Oh, no!” he sneered. “All she wants is a good time.” “Well,” mumbled Jimmy, “I can't see much in babies myself, fat, little, red worms.” Alfred's breath went from him in astonishment “Weren't YOU ever a fat, little, red worm?” he hissed. “Wasn't _I_ ever a little, fat, red----” he paused in confusion, as his ear became puzzled by the proper sequence of his adjectives, “a fat, red, little worm,” he stammered; “and see what we are now!” He thrust out his chest and strutted about in great pride. “Big red worms,” admitted Jimmy gloomily. But Alfred did not hear him. “You and I ought to have SONS on the way to what we are,” he declared, “and better.” “Oh yes, better,” agreed Jimmy, thinking of his present plight. “Much better.” “But HAVE we?” demanded Alfred. Jimmy glanced about the room, as though expecting an answering demonstration from the ceiling. “Have YOU?” persisted Alfred. Jimmy shook his head solemnly. “Have _I_?” asked the irate husband. Out of sheer absent mindedness Jimmy shrugged his shoulders. As usual Alfred answered his own question. “Oh, no!” he raged. “YOU have a wife who spends her time and money gadding about with----” Jimmy's face showed a new alarm. “--my wife,” concluded Alfred. Jimmy breathed a sigh of relief. “I have a wife,” said Alfred, “who spends her time and my money gadding around with God knows whom. But I'll catch him!” he cried with new fury. “Here,” he said, pulling a roll of bills from his pocket. “I'll bet you I'll catch him. How much do you want to bet?”