Back to back [Night watches, Part 1.]Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Back to back [Night watches, Part 1.]
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
Humorous stories; Short stories
He went, before Mr. Scutts could think of a reply suitable for an
invalid and, at the same time, bristling with virility. A sinful and
foolish desire to leap out of bed and help Mr. Flynn downstairs made him
more rubicund than ever.
He sent for the club doctor next morning, and, pending his arrival,
partook of a basin of arrowroot and drank a little beef-tea. A bottle
of castor-oil and an empty pill-box on the table by the bedside added a
little local colour to the scene.
"Any pain?" inquired the doctor, after an examination in which bony and
very cold fingers had played a prominent part.
"Not much pain," said Mr. Scutts. "Don't seem to have no strength in my
back."
"Ah!" said the doctor.
"I tried to get up this morning to go to my work," said Mr. Scutts, "but
I can't stand! couldn't get out of bed."
"Fearfully upset, he was, pore dear," testified Mrs. Scutts. "He can't
bear losing a day. I s'pose--I s'pose the railway company will 'ave to
do something if it's serious, won't they, sir?"
"Nothing to do with me," said the doctor. "I'll put him on the club for
a few days; I expect he will be all right soon. He's got a healthy
colour--a very healthy colour."
Mr. Scutts waited until he had left the house and then made a few
remarks on the colour question that for impurity of English and strength
of diction have probably never been surpassed.
A second visitor that day came after dinner--a tall man in a frock-coat,
bearing in his hand a silk hat, which, after a careful survey of the
room, he hung on a knob of the bedpost.
"Mr. Scutts?" he inquired, bowing.
"That's me," said Mr. Scutts, in a feeble voice.
"I've called from the railway company," said the stranger. "We have
seen now all those who left their names and addresses on Monday
afternoon, and I am glad to say that nobody was really hurt. Nobody."
Mr. Scutts, in a faint voice, said he was glad to hear it.
"Been a wonder if they had," said the other, cheerfully. "Why, even the
paint wasn't knocked off the engine. The most serious damage appears to
be two top-hats crushed and an umbrella broken."
He leaned over the bed-rail and laughed joyously. Mr. Scutts, through
half-closed eyes, gazed at him in silent reproach.
"I don't say that one or two people didn't receive a little bit of a
shock to their nerves," said the visitor, thoughtfully. "One lady even
stayed in bed next day. However, I made it all right with them. The
company is very generous, and although of course there is no legal
obligation, they made several of them a present of a few pounds, so that
they could go away for a little change, or anything of that sort, to
quiet their nerves."
Mr. Scutts, who had been listening with closed eyes, opened them
languidly and said, "Oh."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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