BARNABAS. What do I care? I don't want to breathe under water. BURGE-LUBIN. You may, my dear Barnabas, at any time. You know you never look where you are going when you are immersed in your calculations. Some day you will walk into the Serpentine. This man's invention may save your life. BARNABAS [_angrily_] Will you tell me what that has to do with your putting your ceremonial duties on to my shoulders? I will not be trifled [_he vanishes and is replaced by the blank screen_]-- BURGE-LUBIN [_indignantly holding down his button_] Dont cut us off, please: we have not finished. I am the President, speaking to the Accountant General. What are you dreaming of? A WOMAN'S VOICE. Sorry. [_The screen shews Barnabas as before_]. BURGE-LUBIN. Since you take it that way, I will go in your place. It's a pity, because, you see, this American thinks you are the greatest living authority on the duration of human life; and-- BARNABAS [_interrupting_] The American thinks! What do you mean? I am the greatest living authority on the duration of human life. Who dares dispute it? BURGE-LUBIN. Nobody, dear lad, nobody. Dont fly out at me. It is evident that you have not read the American's book. BARNABAS. Dont tell me that you have, or that you have read any book except a novel for the last twenty years; for I wont believe you. BURGE-LUBIN. Quite right, dear old fellow: I havnt read it. But I have read what The Times Literary Supplement says about it. BARNABAS. I don't care two straws what it says about it. Does it say anything about me? BURGE-LUBIN. Yes. BARNABAS. Oh, does it? What? BURGE-LUBIN. It points out that an extraordinary number of first-rate persons like you and me have died by drowning during the last two centuries, and that when this invention of breathing under water takes effect, your estimate of the average duration of human life will be upset. BARNABAS [_alarmed_] Upset my estimate! Gracious Heavens! Does the fool realize what that means? Do you realize what that means? BURGE-LUBIN. I suppose it means that we shall have to amend the Act. BARNABAS. Amend my Act! Monstrous! BURGE-LUBIN. But we must. We cant ask people to go on working until they are forty-three unless our figures are unchallengeable. You know what a row there was over those last three years, and how nearly the too-old-at-forty people won. BARNABAS. They would have made the British Islands bankrupt if theyd won. But you dont care for that; you care for nothing but being popular. BURGE-LUBIN. Oh, well: I shouldn't worry if I were you; for most people complain that there is not enough work for them, and would be only too glad to stick on instead of retiring at forty-three, if only they were asked as a favor instead of having to. BARNABAS. Thank you: I need no consolation. [_He rises determinedly and puts on his fillet_]. BURGE-LUBIN. Are you off? Where are you going to?