BACK TO THE WOODS The Story of a Fall from Grace BY HUGH McHUGH AUTHOR OF "JOHN HENRY," "DOWN THE LINE WITH JOHN HENRY," "IT'S UP TO YOU," ETC. ILLUSTRATED 1902 To all the boys in the Hammer Club:--Greetings and gesundheit! Get together now and hit hard--for the Devil loveth a Cheerful Knocker. CONTENTS. JOHN HENRY'S LUCKY DAYS JOHN HENRY'S GHOST STORY JOHN HENRY'S BURGLAR JOHN HENRY'S COUNTRY COP JOHN HENRY'S TELEGRAM JOHN HENRY'S TWO QUEENS JOHN HENRY'S HAPPY HOME LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS Yours till the last whistle blows, believe me! John Henry Clara J.--A Dream of Peaches--Please Pass the Cream Uncle Peter--the Original Trust Tamer Aunt Martha--a Short, Stout Bundle of Good Nature Tacks--the Boy Disaster Bunch Jefferson--All to the Good and Two to Carry CHAPTER I. JOHN HENRY'S LUCKY DAYS. Seven, come eleven! After promising Clara J. that I would never again light a pipe at the race track, there I stood, one of the busiest puff-puff laddies on the circuit. Well, the truth of the matter is just this: I fell asleep at the switch and somebody put the white lights all over me. Just how I happened to join the Dream Builders' Association I don't know, but for several weeks I was Willie the Wild Boy at the race track and I kept all the Bookmakers busy trying not to laugh when they took my money. Every day when I showed up at the gate the Pipers played "Darling, Dream of Me!" and every time I picked a skate the Smokers' Society went into executive session and elected me a life member. Every horse that finished last gave me the trembling lip as he crawled home, well aware of the fact that I had caught him with the goods. I blame Bunch Jefferson for putting the bug in my Central. Bunch went down to the skating pond one day with $18 and picked four live wires at an average of 8 to 1. Then he began to talk about himself. After that event whenever I happened to meet Bunch he would raise his megaphone and fill the neighborhood with hot ozone, fresh from the oven. It was pitiful to see that boy swell. Just to cure Bunch and drive him out of the balloon business I made up my mind one day I'd run down to the Flatfish Factory and drag a few honest dollars away from the Bookmakers. Splash! That's where I fell overboard. One bright Saturday P. M. found me clinging to a wad the size of a fountain pen and trying to decide whether I'd better play Dinkalorum at 40 to 1 or Hysterics at 9 to 5. I finally decided that a ten-spot on Dinkalorum would net me enough to give Bunch a line of sad talk, so I stepped up to the poor-box and contributed. Dinkalorum started off in the lead like a pale streak and I immediately bought an entirely new set of furniture for the flat. About half way around a locomotive whistle happened to blow near by. Dinkalorum, being a Union horse, thought it was six o'clock and refused absolutely to work a minute overtime. I had to put the furniture back in the store.