Back to the Woods: The Story of a Fall from Grace — John Shaqi
Back to the Woods: The Story of a Fall from GraceHobart, George V. (George Vere)
General
Back to the Woods: The Story of a Fall from Grace
Hobart, George V. (George Vere)
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
"He laughs best who laughs in his sleeve," chuckled the old party.
"Now that we're out in the country all of us should learn to handle
a sword or a pistol. It gives us self reliance. It's very
different from living in the city, I tell you. A tramp in the
lock-up is worth two in the kitchen. I shot at a mark for an hour
to-day."
"What with?" I gasped.
"With a bow and arrow I bought for Tacks yesterday directly I
learned we were coming to the country. I hit the bull's eye five
out of six times. An ounce of prevention is worth two hundred
pounds of policemen, you know. Tacks practised, too, and drove an
arrow through a strange man's overalls and was chased half a mile
for his skill in marksmanship, but, as I said before, the exercise
will do him good."
"Where do you keep this bow and arrow?" I inquired, with a studied
assumption of carelessness.
"To-night I'll keep it under my pillow. _Honi soit qui oncle
Pierre_, which means, evil be to him who monkeys with Uncle Peter,"
he said, solemnly. "To-morrow I'm going to town to buy a bull dog
revolver, maybe a bull dog _and_ a revolver, for a dog in the
manger is the noblest Roman of them all."
I could see poor Bunch scooting across the lawn with a bunch of
arrows in his ramparts and Uncle Peter behind, prodding his citadel
with a carving knife.
I began to get a hunch that our plan of campaign was threatened
with an attack of busy Uncle Peter, and I had just about decided to
remove his door key and lock the old man up in his room when Clara
J. came in to announce dinner.
Aunt Martha and Clara J. had collaborated on the dinner and it was
a success. Uncle Peter said so, and his appetite is one of those
brave fighting machines that never says die till every plate is
clean.
I was so nervous I couldn't eat a bite, but I pleaded a toothache,
so they all gave me the sympathetic stare and passed me up.
We went to bed early and I rehearsed mentally the stage business
for the drama about to be enacted when Bunch crept through the
picket lines.
About midnight a dog in the neighborhood began to hurl forth a
series of the most distressing bow-bows I ever heard. I arose, put
up the window and looked out.
I saw a tall man with a bunch of whiskers on his face flying across
the lot pursued by a black-and-tan pup, which snapped eagerly at
the man's heels and seemed determined to eat him up if ever the
runner stopped long enough.
I felt in my bones that the one in the lead was Bunch, and I sighed
deeply and went back to bed.
I must have dropped into an uneasy sleep for Clara J. was tapping
me on the arm when I started up and asked the answer.
"There's somebody in the house," she whispered, not a bit
frightened, to my surprise and dismay, "Maybe it's only the ghost
you told us about--what a lark!"
"Somebody in the house," I muttered, going on the stage blindly to
play my part; "and there isn't a gun in the castle."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account