It is more difficult to get acquainted with Herbert than with an entire
stranger, for I have my prepossessions about him, and do not find him
in so many places where I expect to find him. He is full of criticism
of the authors I admire; he thinks stupid or improper the books I most
read; he is skeptical about the "movements" I am interested in; he has
formed very different opinions from mine concerning a hundred men and
women of the present day; we used to eat from one dish; we could n't
now find anything in common in a dozen; his prejudices (as we call
our opinions) are most extraordinary, and not half so reasonable as
my prejudices; there are a great many persons and things that I am
accustomed to denounce, uncontradicted by anybody, which he defends; his
public opinion is not at all my public opinion. I am sorry for him. He
appears to have fallen into influences and among a set of people foreign
to me. I find that his church has a different steeple on it from my
church (which, to say the truth, hasn't any). It is a pity that such a
dear friend and a man of so much promise should have drifted off into
such general contrariness. I see Herbert sitting here by the fire,
with the old look in his face coming out more and more, but I do not
recognize any features of his mind,--except perhaps his contrariness;
yes, he was always a little contrary, I think. And finally he surprises
me with, "Well, my friend, you seem to have drifted away from your old
notions and opinions. We used to agree when we were together, but I
sometimes wondered where you would land; for, pardon me, you showed
signs of looking at things a little contrary."
I am silent for a good while. I am trying to think who I am. There was
a person whom I thought I knew, very fond of Herbert, and agreeing with
him in most things. Where has he gone? and, if he is here, where is the
Herbert that I knew?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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