THE FIRE-TENDER (not noticing the interruption). Having set her mind
on a total revolution of the house, she buys one new thing, not too
obtrusive, nor much out of harmony with the old. The husband scarcely
notices it, least of all does he suspect the revolution, which she
already has accomplished. Next, some article that does look a little
shabby beside the new piece of furniture is sent to the garret, and its
place is supplied by something that will match in color and effect. Even
the man can see that it ought to match, and so the process goes on, it
may be for years, it may be forever, until nothing of the old is left,
and the house is transformed as it was predetermined in the woman's
mind. I doubt if the man ever understands how or when it was done; his
wife certainly never says anything about the refurnishing, but quietly
goes on to new conquests.
THE MISTRESS. And is n't it better to buy little by little, enjoying
every new object as you get it, and assimilating each article to your
household life, and making the home a harmonious expression of your own
taste, rather than to order things in sets, and turn your house, for the
time being, into a furniture ware-room?
THE FIRE-TENDER. Oh, I only spoke of the ingenuity of it.
THE YOUNG LADY. For my part, I never can get acquainted with more than
one piece of furniture at a time.
HERBERT. I suppose women are our superiors in artistic taste, and I
fancy that I can tell whether a house is furnished by a woman or a
man; of course, I mean the few houses that appear to be the result of
individual taste and refinement,--most of them look as if they had been
furnished on contract by the upholsterer.
THE MISTRESS. Woman's province in this world is putting things to
rights.
HERBERT. With a vengeance, sometimes. In the study, for example. My
chief objection to woman is that she has no respect for the newspaper,
or the printed page, as such. She is Siva, the destroyer. I have noticed
that a great part of a married man's time at home is spent in trying to
find the things he has put on his study-table.
THE YOUNG LADY. Herbert speaks with the bitterness of a bachelor shut
out of paradise. It is my experience that if women did not destroy the
rubbish that men bring into the house, it would become uninhabitable,
and need to be burned down every five years.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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