New Orleans (La.) -- Fiction; Women -- Louisiana -- Fiction
There came a night. She sat alone in the vast, dark caravansary--alone
for the first time in her life. Empty rags and blankets lay strewn
over the floor, no snoring, no tossing in them more. A sacrificial
sale that day had cleared the counters. Alarm-bells rang in the
streets, but she did not know them for alarm-bells; alarm brooded in
the dim space around her, but she did not even recognize that. Her
protracted tension of heart had made her fear-blind to all but one
peradventure.
Once or twice she forgot herself, and limped over to some heap to
relieve an imaginary struggling babe or moaning sleeper. Morning came.
She had dozed. She looked to see the rag-heaps stir; they lay as still
as corpses. The alarm-bells had ceased. She looked to see a new gang
enter the far door. She listened for the gathering buzzing of voices
in the next room, around the auction-block. She waited for the trader.
She waited for the janitor. At nightfall a file of soldiers entered.
They drove her forth, ordering her in the voice, in the tone, of
the negro-trader. That was the only familiar thing in the chaos of
incomprehensibility about her. She hobbled through the auction-room.
Posters, advertisements, papers, lay on the floor, and in the
torch-light glared from the wall. Her Jacob's ladder, her
stepping-stone to her hopes, lay overturned in a corner.
You divine it. The negro-trader's trade was abolished, and he had
vanished in the din and smoke of a war which he had not been entirely
guiltless of producing, leaving little Mammy locked up behind him. Had
he forgotten her? One cannot even hope so. She hobbled out into the
street, leaning on her nine-year-old broomstick (she had grown only
slightly beyond it; could still use it by bending over it), her head
tied in a rag kerchief, a rag for a gown, a rag for an apron.
Free, she was free! But she had not hoped for freedom. The plantation,
the household, the delicate ladies, the teeming children,--broomsticks
they were in comparison to freedom, but,--that was what she had asked,
what she had prayed for. God, she said, had let her drop, just as her
mother had done. More than ever she grieved, as she crept down
the street, that she had never mounted the auctioneer's block. An
ownerless free negro! She knew no one whose duty it was to help her;
no one knew her to help her. In the whole world (it was all she had
asked) there was no white child to call her mammy, no white lackey or
gentleman (it was the extent of her dreams) beholden to her as to a
nurse. And all her innumerable black beneficiaries! Even the janitor,
whom she had tended as the others, had deserted her like his white
prototype.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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