Baled Hay: A Drier Book than Walt Whitman's "Leaves o' Grass"Nye, Bill
General
Baled Hay: A Drier Book than Walt Whitman's "Leaves o' Grass"
Nye, Bill
American wit and humor
|AN exchange says that "the James boys had a morose and ugly
disposition." This may be regarded as authentic. The James boys were not
only morose, but they were at times irritable and even boorish. Some of
their acts would seem to savor of the most coarse and rude of impulses.
Jesse James at different times killed over fifty men. This would show
that his disposition must have been soured by some great sorrow. A
person who fills the New Jerusalem with people, or kills a majority of
the republican voters of a precinct, or the entire board of directors
of a national bank, or who remorselessly kills all the first-class
passengers on a through train, just because he feels crochety and
disagreeable, must be morose and sullen in his disposition. No man, who
is healthy and full of animal spirits, could massacre the ablebodied
voters of a whole village, unless he felt cross and taciturn naturally.
There should have been a post mortem examination of Mr. James to
determine what was the matter with him. We were in favor of a post
mortem examination of Mr. James twelve years ago, but there seemed to be
a feeling of reluctance on the part of the authorities about holding it.
No one seemed to doubt the propriety of such a movement, but there was
a kind of vague hesitation by the proper officials on account of his
mother. There has been a vast amount of thoughtfulness manifested by
the Missouri people on behalf of Jesse's mother. For nearly twenty years
they have put off the post mortem examination of Mr. James, because they
knew that his mother would feel wretched and gloomy when she saw her son
with his vitals in one market basket, and his vertebræ in another. The
American people hate like sin to step in between a mother and her child,
and create unpleasant sensations.
Mr. Pinkerton was the most considerate. At first he said he would hold
an autopsy on Mr. James right away, but it consumed so much time holding
autopsies on his detectives, that he postponed Jesse's post mortem for
a long time. He also hoped that after the lapse of years, may be, Mr.
James would become enfeebled so that he could steal up behind him, some
night, and stun him with a Chicago pie; but Jesse seemed vigorous, up to
a late date, and out of respect for his aged mother, the Chicago sleuth
hounds of justice have spared him.
Detectives are sometimes considered hardhearted and unloving in their
natures, but this is not the case. Very few of them can bear to witness
the shedding of blood, especially their own blood. Sometimes they find
it necessary to kill a man in order to restore peace to the country, but
they very rarely kill a man like James. This is partly due to the fact
that they hate to cut a man like that right down, before he has a chance
to repent. They are prone to give him probation, and yet another chance
to turn. Still, there are lots of mean, harsh, unthinking people who do
not give the detectives credit for this.
BUSINESS LETTERS.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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