Baled Hay: A Drier Book than Walt Whitman's "Leaves o' Grass"Nye, Bill
General
Baled Hay: A Drier Book than Walt Whitman's "Leaves o' Grass"
Nye, Bill
American wit and humor
|ALL business letters, as a rule, demand some kind of an answer,
especially those containing money. To neglect the reply to a letter is
an insult, unless the letter failed to contain a stamp. In your reply,
first acknowledge the receipt of the letter, then the receipt of the
money, whatever it is.
Letters asking for money or the payment of a bill, may be postponed from
time to time if necessary. No man should reply to such a letter while
angry. If the amount is small and you are moderately hot, wait two days.
If the sum is quite large and you are tempted to write an insulting
letter, wait two weeks, or until you have thoroughly cooled down.
Business letters should be written on plain, neat paper, with your name
and business neatly printed at the top by the Boomekang job printer.
Letters from railroad companies referring to important improvements,
etc., etc., should contain pass, not for publication, but as a guarantee
of good faith.
Neat and beautiful penmanship is very desirable in business
correspondence, but it is most important that you should not spell God
with a little g or codfish with a k. Ornamental penmanship is good, but
it will not take the cuss off if you don't know how to spell.
Read your letter over carefully after you have written it, if you can;
if not, send it with an apology about the rush of business.
In ordering goods, state whether you will remit soon or whether the
account should be placed in the refrigerator.
DANGER OF GARDENING.
|A COLORADO book agent writes us about as follows:
"For some time past it has been my desire to insure my life for the
benefit of my family, but I knew the public sentiment so well that I
feared it could not be done. I knew that there was a deep and bitter
enmity against book agents, which I found had pervaded the insurance
world to such an extent that I would be unable to obtain insurance at a
reasonable premium.
"The popular belief is that book agents are shot on sight and their
mangled bodies thrown into the tall grass or fed to the coyotes.
"I found, however, that I could get my life insured for two thousand
dollars by paying a premium of twelve dollars per year, as a book agent.
This was far better than anything I had ever looked for. The question
arose as to whether I worked in my garden or not, and I was forced to
admit that I did. It ought to reduce the premium if a man works in his
garden, and thus, by short periods of vigorous exercise, prolongs his
life, but it don't seem to be that way. They charged me an additional
three dollars on the premium, because I toiled a little among my pet
rutabagas.
"I don't know what the theory is about this matter. Perhaps the company
labors under the impression that a thousand-legged worm might crawl into
my ear and kill me, or a purple-top turnip might explode and knock my
brains out.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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