Baled Hay: A Drier Book than Walt Whitman's "Leaves o' Grass"Nye, Bill
General
Baled Hay: A Drier Book than Walt Whitman's "Leaves o' Grass"
Nye, Bill
American wit and humor
The bereft father said that his boys had never made a profession of
Christianity; that they were hardly old enough to do so, and that they
might have missed some gospel opportunities owing to the fact that they
were poor, and hadn't clothes fit to wear to Sabbath school. Possibly,
too, they had met with wicked companions, and had been taught to swear;
he could not say but they might have sworn, although he thought they
would have turned out to be good boys had they lived.
"I am sorry that the case is so bad," said the health officer. "I am led
to believe that God has seen fit to visit you with affliction in order
to express His Divine disapproval of profanity, and I cannot help you.
It ill becomes us poor, weak worms of the dust to meddle with the just
judgments of God. Whether as an individual or as a _quasi corporation_,
it is well to allow the Almighty to work out His great plan of
salvation, and to avoid all carnal interference with the works of God."
The old man went back to his desolated home and to the bedside of his
only living child. I met him yesterday and he told me all about it.
"I am not a professor of religion," said he, "but I tell you, Mr. Nye,
I can't believe that this board of health has used me right. Somehow I
ain't worried about my little fellers that is gone.
"They was little fellers, anyway, and they wasn't posted on the plan of
salvation, but they was always kind and they always minded me and their
mother. If God is using diphtheria agin perfanity this season they
didn't know it. They was too young to know about it and I was too poor
to take the papers, so I didn't know it nuther. I just thought that
Christ was partial to kids like mine, just the same as He used to be
2,000 years ago when the country was new. I admit that my little shavers
never went to Sabbath school much, and I wasn't scholar enough to throw
much light onto God's system of retribution, but I told 'em to behave
themselves, and they did, and we had a good deal of fun together--me and
the boys--and they was so bright, and square, and cute that I didn't see
how they could fall under divine wrath, and I don't believe they did.
"I could tell you lots of smart little things that they used to do, Mr.
Nye, but they wa'n't mean and cussed. They was just frolicky and gay
sometimes because they felt good. I don't believe God had it in for 'em
bekuz they was like other boys, do you? Fer if I thought so it would
kind o' harden me and the old lady and make us sour on all creation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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