Baled Hay: A Drier Book than Walt Whitman's "Leaves o' Grass"Nye, Bill
General
Baled Hay: A Drier Book than Walt Whitman's "Leaves o' Grass"
Nye, Bill
American wit and humor
I have a novle fresh and pure from the pen, wich I would like to be
examined by you. I wish to bring it before the public the ensuing
summer.
I have wrote a good deal for the press, and always with great success. I
wrote once an article on the growth of pie plant wich was copied fur and
wide. You may have heard of me through my poem on "The Cold, Damp Sea or
the Murmuring Wave and its Sad Kerplunk."
I dashed it off one summer day for the Scabtown _Herald_.
In it, I enter the fair field of fancy and with exquisite word-painting,
I lead the reader on and on till he forgets that breakfast is ready,
and follows the thrilling career of Algonquin and his own fair-haired
Sciataca through page after page of delirious joy and poetic rithum.
In this novle, I have wove a woof of possibilities, criss-crossed with
pictures of my own wild, unfettered fancy, which makes it a work at once
truthful and yet sufficiently unnatural to make it egorly sot for by the
great reading world.
The plot of the novle is this:
Algonquin is a poor artist, who paints lovely sunsets and things,
nights, and cuts cordwood during the day, struggling to win a competence
so that he can sue for the hand of Sciataca, the wealthy daughter of a
plumber.
She does not love him much, and treats him coldly; but he perseveres
till one of his exquisite pictures is egorly snapt up by a wealthy man
at $2. The man afterwards turns out to be Sciataca's pa.
He says unkind things of Algonquin, and intimates that he is a better
artist in four-foot wood than he is as a sunset man. He says that
Algonquin is more of a Michael Angelo in basswood than anywhere else,
and puts a wet blanket on Sciataca's love for Algonquin.
Then Sciataca grows colder than ever to Algonquin, and engages herself
to a wealthy journalist.
Just as the wedding is about to take place, Algonquin finds that he is
by birth an Ohio man. Sciataca repents and marries her first love.
He secures the appointment of governor of Wyoming, and they remove to
Cheyenne.
Then there are many little bursts of pictureskness and other things that
I would like to see in print.
I send also a picture of myself which I would like to have in the book.
Tell the artist to tone down the freckles so that the features may be
seen by the observer, and put on a diamond pin, so that it will have the
appearance of wealth, which the author of a book generally wears.
It is not wrote very good, but that won't make any difference when it is
in print.
When the reading public begins to devour it, and the scads come rolling
in, you can deduct enough for to pay your expenses of printing and
pressing, and send me the balance by post-office money order. Please get
it on the market as soon as possible, as I need a Swiss muzzlin and some
other togs suitable to my position in liturary circles. Yours truly,
Luella Blinker.
LINGERIE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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