Baled Hay: A Drier Book than Walt Whitman's "Leaves o' Grass"Nye, Bill
General
Baled Hay: A Drier Book than Walt Whitman's "Leaves o' Grass"
Nye, Bill
American wit and humor
Chewing-gum is rapidly advancing in price, and the demand is far beyond
the supply. The call for gum is co-extensive with the onward move of
education. They may be said to go hand in hand. Wherever institutions
of learning are found, there you will see the tall, graceful form of the
chewing-gum tree rising toward heaven with its branches extending toward
all humanity.
Here, in Wyoming, we could easily propagate this plant. It is hardy and
don't seem to care whether winter lingers in the lap of spring or not.
We have the figures, also, to substantiate this article. We will figure
on the basis of twenty boxes of gum to the plant--and this is a very low
estimate, indeed--then the plants may easily be three feet apart. This
would be 3,097,600 plants to the acre, or 61,952,000 boxes, containing
100 chews in each box, or 6,195,200,000 chews to the acre. We have a
million acres that could be used in this way, which would yield in a
good year 6,195,200,000,000,000 chews at one cent each.
The reader will see at a glance that this is no wild romantic notion
on our part, but a terrible reality. Wyoming could easily supply the
present demand and wag the jaws of nations yet unborn. It makes us tired
to think of it.
Of course, anything like this will meet with strong opposition on the
part of those who have no faith in enterprises, but let a joint stock
company be formed with sufficient capital to purchase the tools and
gum seed, and we will be responsible for the result. Very likely
the ordinary spruce gum (made of lard and resin) would be best as an
experiment, after which the prize-package gum plant could be tried.
These experiments could be followed up with a trial of the gum drop, gum
overshoe, gum arabic and other varieties of gum. Doctor Hayford would be
a good man to take hold of this. Col. Donnellan says, however, that he
don't think it is practical. No use of enlarging on this subject--it
will never be tried. Probably the town is full of people who are
willing to chew the gum, but wouldn't raise a hand toward starting a
gum orchard. We are sick and tired of pointing out different avenues to
wealth only to be laughed at and ridiculed.
WE HAVE REASONED IT OUT.
|A HOME magazine comes to us this week, in which we find the following,
connected with a society article. After alluding to the young men of
the nineteenth century, and their peculiarities, it continues: "In
fact, many of the more fashionable strains are all black, except the
distinctive white feet and snout, so noticeable at this epoch in our
history."
This, it would seem, will make a radical change in the prevailing young
man. With white feet and white snout, the masher must also be black
aside from those features. This will add the charm of extreme novelty to
our social gatherings, and furnish sufficient excuse for a man like us,
with blonde rind and strawberry blonde feet, staying at home, with the
ban of society and a loose smoking jacket on him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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