How Godfrey led his red-cross knights, How mad Orlando slash'd and slew; There's not a single bard that writes But doth the glorious theme renew. And while, in fashion picturesque, The poet rhymes of blood and blows, The grave historian at his desk Describes the same in classic prose. Go read the works of Reverend Cox, You'll duly see recorded there The history of the self-same knocks Here roughly sung by Drummer Pierre. Of battles fierce and warriors big, He writes in phrases dull and slow, And waves his cauliflower wig, And shouts "Saint George for Marlborow!" Take Doctor Southey from the shelf, An LL. D.--a peaceful man; Good Lord, how doth he plume himself Because we beat the Corsican! From first to last his page is filled With stirring tales how blows were struck. He shows how we the Frenchmen kill'd, And praises God for our good luck. Some hints, 'tis true, of politics The doctors give and statesman's art: Pierre only bangs his drum and sticks, And understands the bloody part. He cares not what the cause may be, He is not nice for wrong and right; But show him where's the enemy, He only asks to drum and fight. They bid him fight,--perhaps he wins. And when he tells the story o'er, The honest savage brags and grins, And only longs to fight once more. But luck may change, and valor fail, Our drummer, Peter, meet reverse, And with a moral points his tale-- The end of all such tales--a curse. Last year, my love, it was my hap Behind a grenadier to be, And, but he wore a hairy cap, No taller man, methinks, than me. Prince Albert and the Queen, God wot, (Be blessings on the glorious pair!) Before us passed, I saw them not, I only saw a cap of hair. Your orthodox historian puts In foremost rank the soldier thus, The red-coat bully in his boots, That hides the march of men from us. He puts him there in foremost rank, You wonder at his cap of hair: You hear his sabre's cursed clank, His spurs are jingling everywhere. Go to! I hate him and his trade: Who bade us so to cringe and bend, And all God's peaceful people made To such as him subservient? Tell me what find we to admire In epaulets and scarlet coats. In men, because they load and fire, And know the art of cutting throats? . . . . . Ah, gentle, tender lady mine! The winter wind blows cold and shrill, Come, fill me one more glass of wine, And give the silly fools their will. And what care we for war and wrack, How kings and heroes rise and fall; Look yonder,* in his coffin black, There lies the greatest of them all! To pluck him down, and keep him up, Died many million human souls; 'Tis twelve o'clock, and time to sup, Bid Mary heap the fire with coals.